Better Than Hoped Comic Strips - Page 43

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507 Results for Better Than Hoped

View 421 - 430 results for better than hoped comic strips. Discover the best "Better Than Hoped" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #honesty, #lying, #morale, #punishing honesty, #100% perfect, #business

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Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: Is it just my simulated imagination or are all of the employees lying to me all the time? Catbert: We trained them to be that way by punishing honesty. Robot: How is you project coming along? Alice: 100% perfect! Couldn't be better!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #advertising, #deception, #graphic design, #graphic designers, #marketing, #a_b testing, #design options, #skill set, #random behavior, #talent, #secrets, #business

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Graphic Designer. Dilbert: I'll do some A-B testing with the design options you provided. Interestingly, the fact that you can't predict which design will perform best means your skill set is mostly random behavior that you package as talent. Designer: This works better if i'm the only one who knows that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #blame, #ceos, #cnbc, #executives, #home address, #layoffs, #new prodcuts, #product, #quarterly, #zero

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CEO: Our sales for the quarter are zero. Because I might have mentioned on CNBC that we have a better, cheaper model coming soon. So... great job on the new product... and I need to fire half of you so it looks as if I do things. Voice: What is your home address?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #leadership, #obliviousness, #public speaking, #media, #zero sales, #staff resigned, #fireing, #wisdom, #Entertainment

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Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2014's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #hard work, #respect, #reward for work, #pretending to work, #incremental benefit, #realxing, #harder path, #loser, #respect hard work

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Wally: What's it like to work hard? I'm curious because the reward for hard work seems to be identical to the reward for pretending to work. It seems as if it would be demotivating to work so hard for no incremental benefit. If I had to pick one word to describe my day, it would be "relaxing." But you took the harder path, and for that, you have my respect. Alice: I don't want the respect of a loser! BAM! Wally: If it makes you feel any better, I don't actually respect hard work.

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Dilbert Designs Flying Car

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Dilbert Designs Flying Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business decisions, #good ideas, #ideas, #innovation, #inventions, #managers, #rejection, #flying car, #harvest ion, #ion powered cars, #selfie camera, #sterring wheel

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Dilbert: I designed a flying car that harvests ions from the air to power itself. We can build them for only $3,000 apiece. CEO: There's no market for ion-powered flying cars. Dilbert: I can put a selfie camera in the steering wheel. CEO: Much better. And let' say the car does not fly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #arguing, #personal business, #work ethic, #work load, #work call, #payment, #time management, #handled arguement, #bodd, #employee, #repremand, #money

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Boss: That doesn't sound like a work call. Carol: It isn't I don't have time to do my personal stuff on my own time. I have to do it on work time. Boss: I pay you to do work stuff, not personal stuff. Carol: Then how would I get all of my personal stuff done? Boss: That's not my problem. Carol: Then why did you bring it up. Boss: Because I need you to do work. Carol: I told you I can't get all of my personal stuff done if I do your work! Boss: Okay, okay. I probably could have handled that better.

Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet

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Dilbert Snips Elbonian Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #communication, #developing countries, #hackers, #hacking, #internet, #technology

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Dilbert: My company sent me to crash the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for hacking us. Elbonian 1: Can you hear me now? Elbonian 2: It's better without the string!

Maybe We Should Make A Smartwatch

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Maybe We Should Make A Smartwatch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #innovation, #copy, #practicality, #practical, #pragmatic, #watch, #competition

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Boss: Maybe we should make a smart watch. Dilbert: Maybe it is far too late. Boss: Maybe we could make a better one than Apple. Dilbert: Maybe we should get in a sword fight and not have a sword. Boss: Am I missing anything by not listening to what you say? Dilbert: No, it's mostly for my own entertainment.