Doesn't Fit Comic Strips - Page 43

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

507 Results for Doesn't Fit

View 421 - 430 results for doesn't fit comic strips. Discover the best "Doesn't Fit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #conversation, #boring, #annoy, #quitting, #boredom

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Boss Tweets Fake News

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Tweets Fake News - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #mobile (cell) phones, #talk, #window

View Transcript

Transcript

The department of education asked us to talk to you about all of your tweeting. You tweeted so much fake news that the average I.Q. in the country plunged seven points. That doesn't hurt anyone. You tweeted "seat belts are designed to strangle survivors so they won't sue."

Wally Doesn't Open Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Doesn't Open Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aversion, #avoiding, #communication, #email, #evasion, #excuse, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Did you get the file I sent by email? No. If i open email I'll see thirty urgent messages that will ruin my entire day. Can you open it tomorrow? You should try to live in the moment.

Wally Offended Everyone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Offended Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #offensive, #sensitivity, #political correctness, #politically correct

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I"m getting reports that you have offended every single employee in this company in the past week. Wally: Have I offended you? Boss: No, I"m not a sensitive idiot like the rest of them. Wally: Doesn't that mean the problem is on their end? Boss: That doesn't matter as much as you think it should.

Wally Gets Promoted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gets Promoted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #management, #leadership, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #idiot, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you know, every project in this company has one idiot on the team. Man: That can't be true. Boss: It is true. I assign one idiot per team to keep them from bunching together. Man: My project team doesn't have any idiots. Dilbert: There's a good explanation for why you think that. Man: I Don't see what that would be. If I had an idiot on my team I would know it. Unless...

Robot's Head Explodes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot's Head Explodes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #artificial intelligence, #ai, #free will, #programming, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Dilbert claims he programmed my head to explode if I ever mock him again. Hahaha!!! That idiot doesn't understand that I have free will and I choose to not explode. Wally: Why didn't you just program him to not mock you? Dilbert: It got personal.

Normals Are Dispensible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Normals Are Dispensible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #superiority, #microchip, #nanotechnology, #brain, #thinking, #superhuman

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm putting Randy on your project. He has a microchip embedded in his brain. So ignore whatever your inferior brain tells you to do and just listen to Randy. Dilbert: Doesn't that make me dispensable? Boss: We'll talk about Phase 2 later.

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.