Idea Is Ridiculous Comic Strips - Page 43
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431 Results for Idea Is Ridiculous
View 421 - 430 results for idea is ridiculous comic strips. Discover the best "Idea Is Ridiculous" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 29,
2019
Boss Recommends Blockchain
Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology
Transcript
CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".
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Thursday October 10,
2019
Need To Retrain
Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work
Transcript
boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?
Monday January 20,
2020
Startup Makes Drones With Guns
Tags #business, #danger, #military, #neighbor, #sarcasm, #technology, #drones, #machine guns
Transcript
boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.
Tuesday January 21,
2020
Anti Gun Advocates
Tags #business, #technology, #start-up, #drones, #machine guns, #protest, #anti-guns, #complaints, #advocates, #judge
Transcript
dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.
Thursday May 21,
2020
Mumble Ventriloquists
Monday August 03,
2020
Boss Using Phone
Tags #cell phone, #distraction, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #business, #disrespect, #hear, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.
Monday January 11,
2021
Keyboard Upgrades
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #keyboard, #design, #keys, #better, #hard, #software, #upgrades
Transcript
dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?
Thursday January 14,
2021
Understanding Science
Tags #business, #technology, #science, #scientsts, #chipmunk, #sarcasm
Transcript
tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?
Sunday January 10,
2021
Recurring Charges
Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone
Transcript
dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.
Tuesday April 20,
2021
Zooming Right
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #video call, #adjustments, #camera, #nose, #lighting, #lightbulb, #beard, #audio, #idea, #rude, #laptop
Transcript
alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.