New Product Comic Strips - Page 44
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1000 Results for New Product
View 431 - 440 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 02,
2007
Tags absurd aasignments, cartoonist, comic embarrasing, cubicle, evaluate technology, fire him, no economical applaication, new job
Transcript
Catbert: We have a report of a cartoonist in Cubicle 45950. His comics might embarrass the company. "We can't fire him because it would look bad. You must give him absurd assignments until he quits." The Boss: "Your new job is to evaluate technology that obviously has no economical application." "Woo hoo!"
Wednesday August 08,
2012
Tags cruelty, office workers, new intern, treated pooryly, perpetuate cycle, abuse, feisty, name
Transcript
Asok: This is my new intern. I haven't bothered to name him yet. I've been treated poorly as an intern, and I'm anxious to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. Man: I have a name! Carol: He's feisty. I like that.
Saturday September 01,
2012
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, bad job, new assignment, poor job, matching skills, business
Transcript
Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?
Saturday September 29,
2012
Tags executives, meetings, new team, company change startegy, meetings turn awkward
Transcript
CEO: My new executive team got together and figured out the source of all of our problems. Dilbert: Is the problem that the executive team keeps changing, and that means the company strategy keeps changing? Wally: Is the problem that all of our meetings turn awkward?
Saturday October 06,
2012
Tags business ethics, executives, poor persons, ceo morality test, new tech, fracking, grinding porr people, high pressure, shale
Transcript
Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test
Friday October 26,
2012
Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags
Transcript
Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!
Thursday November 15,
2012
Tags executives, new strategy, nimble, meeting, business plan, business
Transcript
CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?
Friday December 21,
2012
Tags diseases, employees, frustration, new bad apple, joining project, full disclosure, totally contagious, immune, worms, business, medical
Transcript
Coworker: I'm the new bad apple. I'll be joining your project. In the interest of full disclosure, this is totally contagious. Wally: I'm immune, but not for reasons I'm proud of. Coworker: You must be Wally.
Tuesday January 01,
2013
Tags new year's day, optimism, network down, bad new years day, good year
Transcript
Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.
Wednesday January 09,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, actionable anlytics, big data, new jargon, accelrate, business
Transcript
Boss: Do we have any actionable analytics from our big data in the cloud? Dilbert: Yes, the data shows that my productivity plunges whenever you learn new jargon. Boss: Maybe in-memory computing will accelerate your applications. Dilbert: Plunge, plunge, plunge.


