Technical Talk Comic Strips - Page 44

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

453 Results for Technical Talk

View 431 - 440 results for technical talk comic strips. Discover the best "Technical Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Alice Forgives

Thank you for voting.
Alice Forgives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #revenge, #forgiveness, #bygones, #anger, #vindictive

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Wally Is Late For Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is Late For Meetings  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #tardy, #tardiness, #late, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting a lot of complaints about you being late for meetings. Wally: They never talk about anything important in the first ten minutes. Boss: They're usually talking about you being late. Wally: Why would I need to be there for that?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hazmat suit, #harrass, #wear suit, #harrasment, #offcie, #prevention, #dressed up, #human resources, #inappropriate delivery, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

The Losing Team

Thank you for voting.
The Losing Team  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #blockchain, #training, #improvement, #legacy, #education, #skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'd like to work on our blockchain project to keep my skills updated. Boss: I need you to be a team player and maintain our legacy systems until your technical skills become obsolete. Dilbert: What kind of team is that? Boss: You'll be on the losing team.

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

Thank you for voting.
Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #argument, #arguing, #accusation, #social media, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Why did you say we don't have a budget for our project? Dilbert: I never said that. Man: Then why did you say the project isn't feasible? Dilbert: I never said anything like that. Man: But you did say you thought it would take ten years to finish? Dilbert: I've never said anything like that. Man: Hahaha! You're in total meltdown mode now. Dilbert: I already forgot what we were talking about. Boss: How was your talk with Dilbert? Man: He's backpedaling after I totally owned him.

Asking Successful People For Advice

Thank you for voting.
Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Wife Starts A Business

Thank you for voting.
Wife Starts A Business - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #entrepreneur, #business, #divorce, #marriage, #assumption, #small business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My wife is starting her own business. Carol: I'm sorry to hear that. How many years have you been married? Boss: She's not leaving me. She's starting a business. Carol: Right. Don't talk about Phase 2. Got it.