New Product Comic Strips - Page 44
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1000 Results for New Product
View 431 - 440 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 29,
1998
Tags dogbert the consultant, ad campign, tony sincereity, introdcue prodcut, invisible robot, empty box
Transcript
Caption: Dogbert the consultant. Dogbert sits at the conference table with Alice and Dilbert. Dogbert says, "Our ad campaign featuring phony sincerity is working." Dogberts hands Alice and Dilbert pieces of paper. Dogbert says, "In phase two, we'll introduce our newest product, the invisible robot." Alice says, "We don't know how to make an invisible robot." Dogbert says, "Do you know how to make an empty box?"
Wednesday November 04,
1998
Tags barger, closed dorr, curse, intense enrgy, new hire, not a knocker, pushes
Transcript
Tina charges down the hallway pushing people out of her way. Tina says, "Get out of my way, weaklings!" Tina stands in front of the boss' closed door. Tina screams, "This closed door can't stop me! I'll curse it off its #%@!! hinges!" Ann stands on top of the boss's door which has fallen into the Boss's office. There is a person flattened beneath it. The boss looks shocked. The Boss says, "You could have knocked." Ann says, "I'm a barger, not a knocker."
Friday November 06,
1998
Tags big fat guy, blob, condescending, creative director, foster innovation, new hire
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.
Tuesday November 17,
1998
Tags experimental medical procedures, unicron, antidepressant, therapy, instructions, will make laugh, psychology
Transcript
The Boss pionts a big ray gun like machine at Alice, Dilbert and Wally. The Boss says, "Our new line of business is testing experimental medical procedures on employees." Alice, Dilbert and Wally look shocked. The Boss says, "Today's test is called the unicorn antidepressant therapy." The Boss fiddles with the machine. The Boss says, "According to the instructions, in a few minutes, I'll see something that will make me laugh." Alice looks upward at a bump beginning to grow on her forhead. Dilbert and Wally put their hands to their brows.
Friday November 27,
1998
Tags new cfo, babbling idiot, offcie, dilbert questions
Transcript
The moron in messy suit stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The moron says, "Then we need tp PV the DCF and get the ROI to the EOC ASAP." Dilbert says, "Are you our new CFO or a babbling idiot who just happened to wander by?" The moron says, "Which one pays more?" Dilbert thinks, "The mystery deepens."
Wednesday December 02,
1998
Tags microsoft headquarters, misspelled word, spell checking software, market power, new word industry
Transcript
Caption: "Microsoft Headquarters" A preppy man stands in front of a large desk. The person behind the desk (Bill Gates) can't be seen. Preppy man says, "We misspelled a word in our spellchecking software." Gates says, "You know what to do." Preppy man says, "Um.. use our market power to make the new word an industry standard?" Bill Gates says, "And....?" Preppy man says, "Kill myself as an example to others?" Gates says, "In our booth at "Comdex"."
Sunday December 27,
1998
Tags new corporate policy, boss reads, alice, falls asleep, boring, wordy dcoument
Transcript
The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."
Tuesday January 05,
1999
Tags shredder, rigged, sadistic coowrker, void the warranty, marketing, business
Transcript
Alice, Dilbert and wally sit at lunch. Alice says, "Don't use the shredder today." Alice says, "I rigged it to kill our new sadistic nut co-worker." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Whoa!" Dilbert says, "Doesn't that void the warranty?" Alice says, "I'll switch shredders with marketing tomorrow."
Tuesday February 02,
1999
Tags no engineers, product planning, art history majors, party, cloak of invisibility, students, education
Transcript
Dilbert is in a metting with another man and a woman. The man says, "We didn't include engineers in the product planning sessions because.... um.. because...." The woman says, "Because we were art history majors in college." The man says, "Par-r-r-r-rty!" The woman says, "How soon can you build the cloak of invisibility?" The man says, "Let the man think, Clover."
Monday February 22,
1999
Tags sacrificial lamb, head count vacancy, budget cut, shake hands, get attached
Transcript
The boss introduces a new man to Dilbert. The boss says, "Dilbert, meet our new sacrifial lamb." The boss says, "I filled our headcount vacancy so we have someone to dump after the next budget cut." The lamb says, "Should we shake hands?" The boss says, "I don't want to get attached."

