Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 44
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 431 - 440 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday November 03,
2015
How It Feels To Be Useless
Tags work, work ethic, engineers, stress, reward, laziness, dedication
Transcript
Wally: How's it feel to be the hardest-working employee in engineering? Alice: I feel tired, sore, exhausted, sick, angry, stressed out, and lonely. Wally: You probably don't want to know how good it feels to be useless.
Saturday October 31,
2015
The Cause Of Human Motivation
Tags motivation, cause and effect, trick, deception, logic, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.
Friday October 30,
2015
Wally Sees The Problem
Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse, problem, expectations
Transcript
Coworker: You said you would have that done for me by today! Wally: Okay, I think I know what the problem is here. Coworker: You? Wally: That, plus your expectations.
Monday October 26,
2015
Employees Keep Agreeing
Tags furniture, office, arrangement, laziness, loophole, efficiency, management, work ethic, excuse
Transcript
Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?
Sunday October 25,
2015
Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical
Transcript
Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.
Saturday October 24,
2015
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency
Tags layout, office, desk, work environment, efficiency, catch-22, loophole, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.
Friday October 23,
2015
Stress Typo On Website
Tags health, wellness, corporate policy, stress, medical leave, laziness, loophole, typo, mistake, work ethic
Transcript
CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.
Thursday October 22,
2015
Stress As A Wellness Issue
Tags loophole, medicine, health, stress, work, medical leave, work ethic, laziness
Transcript
Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.
Wednesday October 21,
2015
Wally's Stress Problem
Tags stress, health, work, employee, work ethic, laziness, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.
Tuesday October 20,
2015
Wally Has A Sitting Injury
Tags injury, sitting, human resources, complaint, stress, hurt, health, business
Transcript
Wally: I need to report a work-related injury. Studies say extended sitting can increase stress. I sat in my cubicle and got all stressed out. Catbert: You have a sitting injury? Wally: Don't trivialize my pain.


