Service Business Comic Strips - Page 44

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View 431 - 440 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Marketing Complains

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Marketing Complains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, marketing, complain, moronic, fired

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boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.

Dilbert Organizes The Lab

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Dilbert Organizes The Lab  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, business, tech, lab, reorganize, co-workers, grateful

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dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.

Knowing What Wally Does

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Knowing What Wally Does - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, performance, review, job, projects, expectations, heuristics

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boss: i can't give you a good performance review because you haven't performed up to expectations. wally: do you even know what my job is? boss: of course i do. you're an engineer. wally: yes, but do you know what projects i'm working on? boss: well, various things, and some miscellaneous things too. wally: how can you determine my job performance when you don't know what my job is? boss: have you heard of heuristics? you're bad at everything i've observed, so i assume you are bad at everything else as well. wally: you should have started with that.

Let Me Know If You Need Help

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Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, teamwork, help, work, awkward

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dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Low Self Esteem

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Low Self Esteem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, business, self esteem

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tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.

Bring Me Solutions

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Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, solutions, problems, worthless, sarcasm, example

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boss: i want you to bring me solutions, not problems! dilbert: that's a funny way to call yourself worthless. boss: i do plenty around here! boss: but in the interest of time, i will not list any examples.

Alice Would Complain

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Alice Would Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, managers & supervisors, assignment, business, technology, problem, solve

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boss: i was going to give this assignment to alice, but i know she would complain about it. dilbert reading paper: i don't want it either. boss: do you plan to complain about it later? dilbert: not to your face. boss: problem solved.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Buzzflawed Interview

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Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managment, business, reporter, cheat, suppliers, question

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carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."