Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 44
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 431 - 440 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 24,
2008
Tags quality of work, dark shadow, stimulates brain, revulsion and dread, death relate me
Transcript
A woman says, "The quality of your graphics casts a dark shadow across all of your work." The woman says, "Your logo stimulates the parts of my brain responsible for revulsion and dread." The woman says, "ONLY DEATH CAN RELEASE ME!" Dilbert says, "So... bad graphics... what else?"
Monday December 22,
2008
Tags blame, costume, date, lying, work clothes, scapegoat, depatment, entire comapny, men in unifrom
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Tuesday January 05,
2010
Tags quantifying, liar, thief, overseeing work
Transcript
The Boss says, "Maybe someone can help you quantify the value of your research and development work." Dilbert says, "The only people who can quantify the value of researcg are liars and morons." The Boss says, "Maybe we could hire a consultant." DIlbert says, "That just turns a liar into a thief."
Tuesday February 23,
2010
Tags deadline, computer, work, arbitrary, sarcastic, hearing distance, scurry away, fast, end of day, technology
Transcript
The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."
Wednesday March 31,
2010
Tags human resources, evil director, meeting, leadership, empty promises, imaginary, work, weekend, promoted, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."
Monday May 24,
2010
Tags invention, gadget, sink attaches to body, faucet on head, running water, work, annoyed, hearing, yell
Transcript
Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"
Monday July 05,
2010
Tags work-life balance, lazy, annoyed, clench teeth, angry
Transcript
Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."
Tuesday November 23,
2010
Tags piece of paper, request, office, deadline, vague, failure, work hard
Transcript
Dilbert says, "The request we got for a quote is vague, and the deadline for our response is tomorrow." Dilbert says, "If I ask for clarity, we'll miss the the deadline. If I don't, our bid will either be below our cost or too high to win." Dilbert says, "Which path of certain failure do you prefer?" The Boss says, "I like the one that makes you work the hardest."
Saturday December 04,
2010
Tags work, happy, prince of insufficient light, devil, giant spoon, meeting, photoshop, upset, sweat, grab tie, business
Transcript
Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light Phil says, "You stand accused of being happy at work."<RB>Phil says, "Your penalty is to attend a meeting so horrible that none may speak its name." Photoshop your co-worker's photo onto the torso below. Dilbert says, "No... Please... anything but this."
Wednesday December 29,
2010
Tags avoid ansering, emails, unhelpful moron, poorly designed robot, terminate ecompnay, robot
Transcript
Alice says, "I've noticed that whenever I ask you a specific question by email, you avoid answering it." Alice says, "You're either an unhelpful moron or a poorly designed robot sent from the future to terminate our company." Dilbert says, "How did you know it was a robot?" Alice says, "I didn't."


