Being Obnoxious Comic Strips - Page 44

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

517 Results for Being Obnoxious

View 431 - 440 results for being obnoxious comic strips. Discover the best "Being Obnoxious" comics from Dilbert.com.

Weak Sales Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, money, golden parachute, greed, logic, sales, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Meet At My Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, time, wasting time, selfish, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags email, communication, response, confusion, honesty, overshare

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineer, evaluation, value, catch-22, fired, termination, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fair, comfort, flying, money, budget, cost, selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Punishment By Talking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, time, time management, managers, perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Tricky To Be An Optimist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tricky To Be An Optimist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coffee, conversation, glass

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you done writing the soft-ware? Wally: Yes, but it has some bugs. Boss: How is that different from not being done? Wally: I see the glass as half full. Boss: Half full of bugs? Wally: Optimism is tricky.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wages, cost of living, raise, money, rent, apartment, roommate, space

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

Taking Pride In Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Taking Pride In Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, pep talk, logic, pride, suffering, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I"m starting to think you don't take pride in your work. Wally: That would be like taking pride in being the victim of a crime. Catbert: How'd the pep talk go? Boss: He made some good points.