Biggest Problem Comic Strips - Page 44

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440 Results for Biggest Problem

View 431 - 440 results for biggest problem comic strips. Discover the best "Biggest Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Consultant

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Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

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boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

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Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

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boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Extra Dogbert Clone

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Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

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the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.

Sarcastic About Safety

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Sarcastic About Safety  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training

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Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.

Tracking Dilbert

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Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working

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dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Tina's Soul

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Tina's Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #laptop computer, #project, #team, #lying, #garbage, #insult, #soul, #conscience, #face mask

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tina tying on laptop computer: "no one on the project team could have foreseen that the problem that..." tina's soul: you are a lying piece of garbage. tina: who said that? tina's soul: it's your soul. we can't hang out anymore. tina: fine. you were slowing me down.

Refusing Customer Demands

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Refusing Customer Demands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #customer, #demands, #face mask, #fault, #Lose, #managers & supervisors, #refuse, #sarcasm, #technology

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dilbert: as you instructed, i refused to give in to our biggest customer's demands and they canceled all of their orders. boss: i didn't tell you to do that, you fool! dilbert: you told me to do exactly that. boss: i never told you to lose our biggest customer! dilbert: you told me to refuse their demands. boss: but i didn't tell you to lose the customer! dilbert yelling: it's the same thing!!! boss: the important thing here is that it's your fault. Dilbert yelling: i get it!!!

Wally Helps Coworkers

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Wally Helps Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #claim, #co-workers, #critical, #help, #lie, #managers & supervisors, #problem, #teamwork, #validate, #face mask

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boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.

Lucky Profits

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Lucky Profits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #business, #compensation, #executive, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #sarcasm, #technology, #video conferencing, #zoom, #luck

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catbert to ceo: there's a problem with your executive compensation. the company made so much money during the pandemic, purely by luck, that your bonus would be ten million dollars. ceo: i earned it. catbert: you made zoom calls wearing only socks.

Wally Hates His App

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Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

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wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.