Bow Before Me Comic Strips - Page 44

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

440 Results for Bow Before Me

View 431 - 440 results for bow before me comic strips. Discover the best "Bow Before Me" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Lives In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My new employee is doing such great work that he makes the rest of you look like chimpanzees. I think you know what you need to do. Wally: Sabotage all of his projects. Boss: Try to do it before he takes my job.

Busy To Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Busy To Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #criticism, #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #busy

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm sorry i've been too busy to mentor you lately. dilbert: were you mentoring me before? boss: kind of. i was criticizing you in my mind. dilbert: i think it made me a better person.

Inefficiency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Two Bad Options

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.

Getting Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Getting Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #technology, #input, #dumb, #human, #universe, #Opinion, #strategy, #worse

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.

Quarantine Before Date

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2020's comic on:


Tags #date, #desperation, #dinner, #office workers, #quarantine, #technology, #two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Manage With Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #business, #data, #face maks, #leadership, #manage, #managers & supervisors, #paralysis, #technology, #useable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

First Time For Everything

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Time For Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #amazing, #business, #business plan, #concept, #first time, #good, #managers & supervisors, #new, #pandemic, #face mask, #covid

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally wearing face masks. boss: why should we do what you are suggesting when literally no one has ever tried it before? wally: because everything good and amazing had to be done by someone for the first time. boss: will this be good and amazing? wally: let's keep this on the concept level.