Dilberts Mom Comic Strips - Page 44

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View 431 - 439 results for dilberts mom comic strips. Discover the best "Dilberts Mom" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic

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Dilbert's Vacation Was Tragic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #work, #workload, #work ethic

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Wally: How was your vacation? Dilbert: Tragic. All I did was stay home and watch my personal hygiene decline while my workload here piled up. Wally: You just described my perfect day.

Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone

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Tina Wants To Borrow Dilbert's Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #property, #possession, #technology

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Tina: Can I borrow your phone to make a call? I dropped mine and broke it. Dilbert: No, I don't like other people touching my phone, or breathing on it, or reading my messages. Tina: You have a lot of issues. Dilbert: Said the person who doesn't use protective phone cases because they are ugly.

Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded

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Dilbert's Project Is Unfunded  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #forgetful, #forgetting, #money, #budget, #oversight

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Dilbert: I don't see my project in the new budget. Boss: Oh, right. I forgot all about you. Dilbert: That sounds easy to fix. Boss: Yup. MY problem will be solved as soon as you leave.

Dilbert Might Be Colluding

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Dilbert Might Be Colluding  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #trump, #russia, #rumor, #conjecture

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CEO: People tell me Dilbert's project is in chaos. Why is that? Boss: Maybe he's been colluding with our Elbonian competitors. But that's just a guess. CEO: I can't unhear that.

Dilbert Is Cleared Of Colluding

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Dilbert Is Cleared Of Colluding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #crime, #attorney, #lawyer, #collusion, #donald trump, #russia, #legal

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Dogbert: I've investigated Dilbert's email and phone records and I can say with confidence he did not collude with Elbonia. But there are many, many other crimes he might have committed, and you should pay me to investigate them. Dilbert: That wasn't helpful. Dogbert: Stop making it all about you.

Dilbert's History Of Lying

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Dilbert's History Of Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #innocence, #guilt, #lying, #deception

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Boss: I can't give you a raise because of your history of lying about everything. Dilbert: I don't lie. I have a history of being falsely accused. Boss: I'll add that lie to your list. Dilbert: I don't see a path to victory here.

Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic

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Alice Says Dilbert Is Narcissistic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #truth, #diagnosis, #Opinion, #free will, #ai, #artificial intelligence

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Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?

New Year's Day

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New Year's Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #message, #office, #squirrels

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the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?