Last Half Comic Strips - Page 44

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

470 Results for Last Half

View 431 - 440 results for last half comic strips. Discover the best "Last Half" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #coffee, #desk, #office, #office workers, #cables, #stapler

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.

Dilbert Characters

Centralizing The Decentralized

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #confused, #employees, #customer service

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Read The Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Ron Moore

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #insults, #jokes, #mistake, #sales, #customers

View Transcript

Transcript

Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

Casserole For Pot Luck

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Casserole For Pot Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Food, #health & safety, #office, #office workers, #casserole, #potluck, #inspection, #home, #kitchen

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i brought a casserole for the potluck. when are you coming? dilbert: when was the last time the health department did an inspection of your home kitchen? tina: never dilbert: that's when i'll be going to the potluck.

Project Update

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #project, #update, #plan, #read, #imaginary

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Dilbert Murders Robots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

Smarter Than An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smarter Than An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #health, #allergy, #brain, #fog, #i.q., #smart, #engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i took allergy meds last night, and now i have brain fog. my i.q. is about 50% of normal capacity. boss: whoo-hoo! i'm smarter than an engineer! dilbert: not quite. i'm only down by 50%.

Brain Fog

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?