Woman Comic Strips - Page 44

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

558 Results for Woman

View 431 - 440 results for woman comic strips. Discover the best "Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fixed satellite, surround sound, water filter, dates fix it guys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dead squirrel, insulting, knitting sweater, makeup, meeting, no potential benefit, time management, time management expert, woman as example, hideous outfit, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags moral compass, damaged, groomed for management, coffee in face, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "I hear your moral compass is damaged and you're being groomed for upper management." SPLOISH! Dilbert says, "Was that wrong? Because I can't tell."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags good hand, back rub, sling, injured, make me happy, elbows

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Maybe later you can give me a back rub with your good hand." Dilbert says, "I don't have a good hand. But one of my elbows doesn't hurt too much." The woman says, "I feel like you're not even trying to make me happy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags therapy, addiction, job posting, dung beetlke, epileptic cow, disturbing imagery, couch, shrink, current job, unsatifying, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "How long have you been addicted to ogling online job postings?" Alice says, "It started when I realized my current job is like a dung beetle trying to mate with an epileptic cow." The woman says, "That imagery is disturbing." Alice says, "I know, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogcart the ceo, salary, 400x more, admit your selfish, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags quality of work, dark shadow, stimulates brain, revulsion and dread, death relate me

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "The quality of your graphics casts a dark shadow across all of your work." The woman says, "Your logo stimulates the parts of my brain responsible for revulsion and dread." The woman says, "ONLY DEATH CAN RELEASE ME!" Dilbert says, "So... bad graphics... what else?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags shirt, one date, kind of creepy, ex boyfreind

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "i saw this shirt and I had to get it for you." Dilbert says, "We've had one date and you're buying me a a shirt? That's kind of creepy." The woman says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Is it made from your ex-boyfriend's skin?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dinner date, interesting story, self aware, build an army, killer robots

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags informing, admitting, laziness, bragging, shocked

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "We've never worked together so let me tell you how this will go down." Wally says, "You'll expect me to contribute, and you will be disappointed at every turn. In the long run you will do everything yourself." Woman says, "How do you stay employed?" Wally says, "DOn't make me call myself a genius."