Head Bobbing Bird Comic Strips - Page 45

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View 441 - 450 results for head bobbing bird comic strips. Discover the best "Head Bobbing Bird" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless, #incompetent bug, #two phone calls and a meeting

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your help yelling at a guy to make him do his job." The Boss approaches the coworker from behind and yells, "You worthless, incompetent bug!!! I'll have your head!!!" The Boss asks the coworker, "How much work did that buy?" The coworker responds, "Two phone calls and a meeting."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad hotel, #bubonic inn, #elbonia, #fleas, #mattress, #what kind of fleas

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poisoned, #bad user interface design, #crowd out ugly, #staggering beauty, #drink in, #garbageman advice

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer screen, #defective, #ignoring, #knock yourself out, #over rated, #vigorusly

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Asok asks The Boss, "The lower left part of my computer screen is defective. May I order a replacement?" The Boss replies, "That part of the screen is overrated. Try ignoring it." Asok asks, "May I vigorously bang my head on your desk?" The Boss replies, "Sure. Knock yourself out."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stretch first, #sprained arm, #tv remote control, #Wally, #doctor, #medical

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Wally has his arm in a sling and his head in a cone. He says to Dilbert, "I sprained my arm using the TV remote control." Wally continues, "I tried to change the channel and the volume at the same time." Wally continues, "That's why you should always stretch first." Dilbert turns and asks, "Wally, who's your doctor?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor is vet, #military service, #rubs belly

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Dilbert says to Wally, who is still in an arm sling and head cone, "This is a guess, but I think your doctor is a vet." Wally responds, "I don't know about his military service. I just know he has great cookies." Wally continues, "And I like it when he rubs my belly." Dilbert says, "I know something you don't know."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losing cash, #operate immediately, #removal service, #operate immediatley

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The consultick has burrowed himself all the way through The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "It looks like you need 'Dogbert's Consultant Removal Service.'" Dogbert continues, "He's in there good. You must be losing a lot of cash." The Boss bends over and Dogbert lifts up the back of his jacket. The consultick's head is sticking out of The Boss' back and his hand is in The Boss' pocket. Dogbert says, "It already spread to your wallet. I'll have to operate immediately."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #visibuddy, #mindless replica, #increases visibility, #golf, #nice guy, #invention, #fake clone, #robot, #Sports

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Dilbert fastens the head atop a robot of himself. He says to Dilbert, "I call my invention the 'Visibuddy.'" Dilbert continues, "It's a mindless replica that can attend meeting and increase my visibility." The Visibuddy, The Boss, and Dilbert are in a meeting. The Visibuddy asks The Boss, "Am I working hard or hardly working? Do you golf?" The Boss thinks, "Nice guy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cat show, #clothing, #date, #good listener, #mindless replica, #uninteresting stories

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A female coworker asks Dilbert, "Would it be okay if I asked your mindless replica for a date?" The coworker continues, "I'm full of uninteresting stories and I need a guy who's a good listener." The coworker and the Visibuddy are at dinner. The coworker says, "Now I'll describe the clothing of each person at the cat show." The Visibuddy hits himself in the head with a fork, "Thunk!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo placements, #magic 8 ball, #performed better, #dogbert the headhunter

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Headline: Dogbert the Headhunter. Dogbert says to a client, "Let me tell you how good my CEO placements have been." Dogbert continues, "An astonishing fifty percent of them have performed better than the other half!" Dogbert continues, "If you're on a budget, I recommend one of our stuffed CEO units with a 'Magic 8 Ball' head."