Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 45
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701 Results for Lying Down
View 441 - 450 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 04,
2007
Tags options, costs too much, any research, experience thing, using technology
Transcript
Wally: I narrowed down the options to an alternative that costs too much and another that won't work. I didn't do any research. It's more of an experience sort of thing. Next week I plan to think about the option of using technology that isn't yet available."
Sunday September 16,
2007
Tags contract changes, last month, negotiate, not authorized, hope to wear you down
Transcript
Dilbert: "You didn't make any of the contract changes we agreed on last month." Ted: "That's how I negotiate." "I'm not authorized to make any changes to the contract." "And the executives who have that power will think I'm not doing my job if I ask them to do it." "So I agree to everything you ask, then I don't put any of it in the contract." "Over the course of several months I hope to wear you down and make you sign the contract as is." Dilbert: "Can you at least change section three the way I asked? Ted: "Sure. No problem." "I'll see you in a month."
Sunday November 25,
2007
Tags boss, worker, office, wrong path, precise verbal explanation, embarrassment of undoing, good plan, progress, mistreatment of workers, corrupt policices, bad boss
Transcript
The Boss: "Dilbert, I need you to do something, but I don't have time to fully explain it." "I'll give you just enough information to send you down the wrong path." "Later, after you do it wrong. I'll treat you like you're some sort of idiot." "Then I'll put you through the embarrassment of undoing everything you did." "This might not sound like a good plan to you." "But it takes the task off of my plate and puts it on yours." "That's called progress." Dilbert: "Today I helped make progress." Garbageman: "Better luck tomorrow."
Thursday January 10,
2008
Tags aligns with priorities, budget, lying, priorities, questiong
Transcript
The Boss: Tina, put together a document showing how our budget aligns with out priorities. Tina: It doesn't. The Boss: Write it so it seems like it does. Tina: Isn't that lying? The Boss: I call it leadership by words.
Thursday January 31,
2008
Tags dog, financial planner, troglodyte, Advice, soften up, meeting, insult, yell, scream, put down, animals, business
Transcript
Dogbert the financial planner Dogbert: Investing is far too complicated for your tiny brain. You are a financial troglodytle!!!" Man: Do I get some advice now? Dogbert: No, our first meeting is just to soften you up.
Friday March 14,
2008
Tags jesus, downsized, return as consultant, save pensions, forgetful boss
Transcript
Pronounced Hay-Soos The Boss: Jesus, I thought you got down-sized. Jesus: I came back. Tell the others I was downsized so I could return as a consultant and save their pensions. The Boss: I should have written that down."
Wednesday March 19,
2008
Tags breaks down, cries, date, endless stories, huge defects, restaurant, series of stoires, soul crushed
Transcript
Dilbert: I look different from my online picture because it was taken before my coworkers crushed my soul. Would you like to hear an endless series of stories about a coworker you don't know?" Date: okay. Dilbert: Really? Gee, you must have some huge defects of your own. Date: I don't deserve to be happy!
Saturday April 12,
2008
Tags matt the temp, fully embrace, Catbert, temp concept, temp, find down cable
Transcript
Matt the temp The boss: Our parking lot flooded after the big storm. I need you to wade out there and find our downed power cables." He seems to fully embrace the temp concept. Fzeet!
Sunday April 27,
2008
Tags boss takes credit, self loathing, blame, taking credit, desparate, good idea, bad idea
Transcript
CEO: Who thought of this idea? The Boss: I came up with it all by myself. My subordinates, who have a healthy fear of losing their jobs, had nothing to do with it. Right? Wally: We're not worth the oxygen we breathe. Dilbert: I don't even know why I'm here. CEO: I asked because it's an awful idea. The Boss: You said I was stealing credit for a good idea, you lying liar!! CEO: Oh, wait. I read it wrong. This is actually a great idea. The Boss: Thanks. I know it was a winner when I thought of Dilbert: You gave him a good idea? Wally: Not intentionally. It must have been a typo.
Sunday May 18,
2008
Tags discriminating, genetic reason, idiot, intolerance, turned down for raise, maximum raise, learning problem, desparation, money
Transcript
The Boss: Alice, I can't give you the maximum raise because you don't respect other people's differences. Alice says, Why are you discriminating against me for my intolerance? If I am intolerant for some genetic reason, then I can't help it. Alice says, "And if I'm intolerant because I can't learn to be otherwise, then obviously I have a learning problem. Alice says, "Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to notice it? You need to start appreciating me for my intolerance! Alice says, And while I'm at it, allow my to mention that a monkeys seat cushion has better views than what I'm looking at right now. The Boss says, "I'm not quite sure where to go with this." Alice says, "Ooh! Oooh! I have a suggestion."


