Monthly Plan Comic Strips - Page 45

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

516 Results for Monthly Plan

View 441 - 450 results for monthly plan comic strips. Discover the best "Monthly Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Addictive Apps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #app, #zombie, #mindlessness, #cell phone, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Dogbert's Particle Accelerator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Particle Accelerator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scheme, #plan, #deception, #trick, #science, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I built a particle accelerator in the basement. Dilbert: Sounds expensive. Dogbert: Not if you use cardboard. My plan is to say I discovered one new particle per week. When scientists fail to confirm my discoveries, I will say they need better accelerators.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diet, #dating, #restaurant, #relationships, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me six months to get a reservation here. I hear the food is amazing. Woman: It sounds fantastic. It's too bad I'm on a cucumber diet. I can only eat cucumbers after five o'clock. Dilbert: Well, it seems you have squandered my invitation to fine dining. Now my plan of sharing a culinary adventure is just a sad commentary on the casual rudeness of life. Can I expect you to complain about the quality of your cucumber and send it back? Waiter: We don't have cucumbers.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

Bad Optics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Optics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearances, #optics, #logic, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't like the optics of your plan. Dilbert: It's the only plan that can work. Should I change it to something that looks good but won't work? Boss: Excellent idea. You might have more management potential than I though.

Craving Vacation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Craving Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vacation, #conversation, #work, #workload, #annoy, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Tine: I hear you have some vacation days coming. Planning anything big? Dilbert: I plan to catch up on all the work I couldn't get done here because people keep interrupting me. Tina: That's a sad vacation. Dilbert: Then why am I craving it right now?

Dilbert Red Pills Asok

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Red Pills Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #language, #nonsense, #productivity, #illusion, #alternate reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Nothing in this dimension is real. Asok: Double-click on that. Dilbert: The jargon matrix is where people imagine they are being useful. But in reality, they are sitting in a chair doing nothing. Asok: I just made a ten-year technology plan.

Something About Honesty

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Something About Honesty - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #culture, #business, #concept, #abstraction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I want to make sure my project plan is consistent with our company culture. But I don't know what our culture is. Maybe you could describe it? Boss: Um... maybe something about honesty? Dilbert: No, I would have noticed that by now.

Cublices Or Open Office Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cublices Or Open Office Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #concept, #cubicle, #floorplan, #laziness, #hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you prefer the privacy of a cubicle or the collaborative atmosphere of an open office plan? Wally: Cubicles poison my soul. But in an open office plan, I would not get any work done. Dilbert: So... which do you prefer? Wally: The one with no work. I thought that was obvious.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avoiding, #avoidance, #offense

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; Are you going to the department meeting? Dilbert: Yes, as soon as I plan my route. I have seven co-workers who I need to avoid on the way. Three are nonstop talkers. The other four ask me for something every time I see them. I've mapped their likely locations and I'm working out an avoidance path. Yes, I think I can do it. Tina: Is that my name on your list of employees to avoid? Dilbert: I didn't say it was a perfect system.