Asok Comic Strips - Page 45

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

963 Results for Asok

View 441 - 450 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vacation time, off next week, cures eyou, so much work, die! relieve stress, unsupportive

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags tesks, intern, anti meeting spell, traffic estimates, barraged with questions, fights ensue, new service, web application, all technology, internet bubble, platform

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I didn't have time to finish my tasks for this meeting." Wally: "No problem." "If you get cornered, read this powerful anti-meeting spell." "Asok, did you finish the traffic estimates?" Asok: "Um...I was wondering if our new service is Web 2.0 or Web 1.0." "Obviously it's a Web 2.0 application because of the tag-based folksonomies." "No it isn't. All of our technology existed before the Internet bubble." "'When' doesn't matter. It only matters that we use the Web as a platform!" "Everything is a platform!" Asok: "Freaky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags finished work, high profile assignment, create docuemnt, rout it around, how to keep intern busy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I finished all of my work, and now I'm available for another high profile assignment." The Boss: "Create a document and route it around for approval." Asok: "On what topic?" The Boss: "How to keep an intern busy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, happy things, working, sensors, alert management, pleasure areas brain, blood flow, happier not knowing, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: evil director of human resources Catbert: "Some of you have been thinking about happy things when you should be working." "These sensors will alert management any time the pleasure areas of your brain have more blood flow." "I was happier not knowing." ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags changes, pension plan, company wide, email, read email, compulsion, details, engineers, brain, best meeting, humiliate boss, called out

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I called this meeting to discuss the changes to the pension plan." Alice: "We already saw the company-wide e-mail about the changes." Dilbert: "And we're all engineers, so we understand the details better than you do." Alice: "I'll bet you intend to waste our time by reading the e-mail to us." ask: "You can't stop yourself. it's some sort of compulsion." Alice: "If you read that e-mail, it's proof that something is wrong with your brain." The Boss: "Can't...resist...reading...e-mail." "GAAA!!!" Alice & Dilbert: "Best meeting ever."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spreadsheet, terrible job, boos, meeting, office, poorly conceived, complexity of real world, wrong cells, numbers don't lie, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, according to my spreadsheet, you have been doing a terrible job." Asok: "Perhaps your spreadsheet is poorly conceived and does not capture the complexity of the real world." "And let's not forget the near certainty that your formulae are pointing to the wrong cells." The Boss: "Numbers don't lie."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags use old technology, get funded, raise issue, any issues, old technology, works fine, new technology buggy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Our pointy-haired boss is insisting we use old technology because he thinks it will be easier to get it funded. "You should raise that issue at the meeting." "We'll back you up." Dilbert: "Absolutely." The Boss: "Are there any issues?" Asok: "You're making us use old technology just to make your job easier." "Does anyone else think that?" "No." "No." "No." "The old technology works fine." "New technology is too buggy." "What was that?!!" "It's just something we do."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring coordinator, projects, starts monday, input

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'd like your input on the idea of hiring a coordinator for our projects. "Terrible idea." "Waste of money." "Wouldn't help." "He starts Monday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evil director, human resources, new policy, no d drinking coffee, remove all doubt, policies, evil, honesty, ruining the moment, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sand wedge, sandwhich, golfing, caddy, losing adavantage, eating quickly, angry intern, hungry

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Give me a sand wedge. Asok: "This sandwich is all I have for lunch. You can take my pride but not my sandwich!" The boss: "I think I'm losing the psychological advantage with my foursome." mmmph chew-chew-chew! hee-hee!!