Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 45

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Arms Out

View 441 - 450 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doubting, challenge, bible, god, scare, planned, Religion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoiding, quitting, communicating, telling, projecting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Ask Morgan what type of materials he recommends we should use for the case." Dibert says, "Morgan has no communication skills. Everything he knows is locked in his skull and will never come out." Dilbert says, "Is this going to look like my fault?" THe Boss says, "Quitter!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honeymoon, lying, business, marriage, comparing, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Our customer is asking for features we can't possibly deliver." The Boss says, "Say we can. We'll disappoint them later when it's too late to back out." Dilbert says, "Leaders don't like when you compare things to their honeymoons."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competitors, stupiditiy, catching-up, calling out, graph, matching

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "If we work day and night, we can match our competitor's features within twelve months." Dilbert says, "Are we catching up to where they will be in a year, which is unknowable, or where they are now, which is stupid?" Wally says, "Well played." Alice says, "I got the next one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greed, ceo, retiring, placeholder, corpse, podium

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I'm stepping down as CEO because I already milked all of the cash out of the this dying cow." Dogbert says, "My replacement is a dried-up corpse. But don't worry; he's just a placeholder until a new CEO can be found." The Boss says, "The faint breeze is blowing away his head." Dogerbt says, "You should probably hurry."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project manager, gene pool, kitchen, losing, foreboding, anguish, monitoring

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Ellen, your new project manager." The Boss says, "If you do a bad job, Ellen will be on you like a ton of bricks." Boss says, "And if you do a good job, she will be threatened by your success and make it her mission to destroy you." Dilbert says, "Wait...what?" Dilbert says, "Did you just tell me I'm going to lose no matter what I do?" Ellen says, "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen." Ellen says, "And by kitchen I mean the entire job market And the gene pool." "Dilbert says, "I have a bad feeling about this." Ellen says, "Your anguish nourishes me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, complaining, stupidity, confused, coworker, leaving, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I didn't understand anything you said for the past half an hour." Dilbert says, "You shushed me every time I tried to interrupt with a question." Dilbert says, "Now we're out of time, and my only memory of this meeting is that noise came out of your donut hole." Woman says, "This is why I don't let you talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags explaining, twitter, typing, ideas, Word, texting, cell phone, internet, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I decided to twitter because everything that pops into my head is fascinating." Dogbert says, "I don't have time to write entire sentences, so I'll just send out one word per day." Dogbert texts, "Riboflavin."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer, hands, refusal, ridicule, criticism, germs, angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to meet one of our biggest customers. She has some technical questions." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Get that disease-infested paw away from me!" Dilbert says, "Don't you follow the news? Shaking hands is so 2008." Dilbert says, "No offense, but you look more like a virus incubator than a vigorous hand washer." Dilbert says, "So why don't you pull that death stick back up your sleeve and we can pretend this ugly incident never happened." Dilbert says, "And if it's not too much to ask, could you exhale toward things I'm likely not to touch?" Dilbert says, "Okay, now that the pleasantries are out of the way, what can I tell you about our new product line?" Dilbert says, "We lost a customer, but I survived the meeting." The Boss says, "Next time, do it the other way."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interview, asking, Family, large, leaving, trouble, busy, annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "Do you have any relatives?" Man says, "Yes, I have a huge family." The boss says, "In any given week, how many of them are dying, graduating, going to jail, or getting married?" Man says, "Maybe?six." The Boss says, "When would you have time to work?" Man says, "I have to go. Someone fell out of a tree."