Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 45

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View 441 - 450 results for retail business comic strips. Discover the best "Retail Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Data Can Only Mean One Thing

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Data Can Only Mean One Thing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, data, analyze

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ted: this data can mean only one thing. dilbert: actually, it can mean any one of about seventeen things. ted: then why can i think of only one? dilbert: please don't make me answer that.

Looks Like A Duck

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Looks Like A Duck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, sayings, duck, update

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ceo: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's... dilbert: a deep fake? ceo: i was going to say duck. dilbert: you might want to update your folksy sayings every century or two.

Donating To Politicians

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Donating To Politicians - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, Politics, government, campaign, bribe, faith, drones, guns, sarcasm

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dilbert, boss and alice at table boss: i donated to a few campaigns, and coincidentally a law changed that i wanted changed. now it's legal for us to sell drones that are armed with machine guns. dilbert: i've never had less faith in my government. boss: i also got us a tax break.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

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Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illegal, armed, drones, private, citizens, sell, business, technology, bribe, law

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boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.

Anti Gun Advocates

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Anti Gun Advocates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, start-up, drones, machine guns, protest, anti-guns, complaints, advocates, judge

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dilbert: anti-gun advocates are complaining because we bought a start-up that makes us drones with machine guns. boss: our best bet is to lure them into some sort of outdoor protest event and... dilbert yelling: bad idea. very bad! boss: don't be judgmental during the brainstorming.

Startup Makes Drones With Guns

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Startup Makes Drones With Guns - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, danger, military, neighbor, sarcasm, technology, drones, machine guns

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boss: we bought a start-up that makes autonomous drones armed with machine guns. dilbert: for use by the military? boss: good idea. i hadn't thought of that. it's too dangerous for private use. dilbert: you sound just like my neighbor when he still had a gazebo.

Poison Pill

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Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-worker, cross-train, business, relationship, training, bad, fire, poison pill, planner

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dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Cross Training

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Cross Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, cross train, fire, job, dumb, manager

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dilbert: our pointy-haired boss told me to ask you to cross-train me on your job junctions. ted: that sounds exactly like he plans to fire me as soon as you can do my job. dilbert: in my defense, he assured me you would be too dumb to realize that.

Violating Rules

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Violating Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, rules, business, audit, employees, company

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boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.

Brain Fog

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Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags co-workers, business, health, meds, i.q., handsome, name

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dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?