Too Much Smut Comic Strips - Page 45

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

502 Results for Too Much Smut

View 441 - 450 results for too much smut comic strips. Discover the best "Too Much Smut" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #judge, #Dogbert, #trial, #alice, #temp worker, #Wally, #jury

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the members of a jury, "Yes, my client did accidentally slay a 'temp' worker . . . Emphasis on 'TEMP.'" Dogbert asks, "But who among us can say they haven't slain innocent people when the situation called for it?" The judge replies, "I can." Dogbert says, "Well, great . . . So much for getting a fair trial."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #neuroscience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert sit on the hassock. Dogbert asks, "Ratbert, did you know that your brain automatically coordinates millions of activities every second?" Dogbert says, "Imagine if it got just a little bit confused - all those neurons firing randomly . . ." Ratbert waves his arms and legs uncontrollably. Dogbert says, "You don't add much to a conversation, but you're easily the best listener I've ever met." Ratbert screams as he falls off the hassock.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Wally, #consultant

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Wally, "The company's woes are YOUR fault, not senior management's!" Dogbert asks, "Do you realize how much YOU could gain personally by making the company a success?" Wally replies, "I would get a nice plaque in a plastic frame." Dogbert says, "Yeah . . . I was hoping you didn't know."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu, #creativity, #test, #humor, #barrel, #monkey, #advantage, #guillibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #slaughter, #animals, #shoes, #leather, #country, #slave, #labor, #Dogbert, #premium, #cloth

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in a shoe store. A salesperson asks, "Can I help you?" Dilbert tells the salesman, "I oppose the slaughter of helpless animals. Do you have any shoes that aren't made of leather?" The man replies, "Yeah, but they would make you look like a twit." Dilbert says, "Well, forget that. Do you have any shoes made in this country?" The salesman replies, "Yeah, but they cost more." Dilbert says, "Okay, forget that. Just show me some shoes that weren't made with slave labor." The man says, "We charge a premium for no-slave shoes." Dilbert replies, "Well, forget that." Dilbert arrives at home with a shoebox. Dogbert asks, "How much did you sell your soul for?" Dilbert answers, "Forty bucks and a little shine cloth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #daydreaming, #attractive, #wasted, #percent

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Ted, "I understand that you men are spending three quarters of your time daydreaming about attractive women." The Boss asks, "Do you realize how much time is being wasted here?" Dilbert asks, "Twenty-five percent?" Wally says, "It's a trick question." Ted thinks, "Irene."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank of ethel, #ethel, #Dilbert, #paying, #credit, #Card, #automatically, #transfer, #account, #craze, #elsewhere

View Transcript

Transcript

A teller at the Bank of Ethel says, "Next victim." Dilbert approaches the window and says, "You charged me a fee for paying my credit card bill a day late." The woman asks, "So?" Dilbert asks, "Why don't your computers automatically transfer money from my checking account instead of charging a penalty?" The teller replies, "Frankly, we're not much into the 'customer service' craze." The teller continues, "We prefer to set little traps so customers get hit with unexpected penalties." Dilbert says angrily, "Well!! I think I'll just take my business elsewhere!" The teller says, "You're annoying me. That's a hundred dollar penalty!" Dilbert walks out of the bank wearing only his underwear. He thinks, "I don't think I can even claim a moral victory here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dollars, #chairty, #moral, #duty, #fortunate, #starving, #plenty, #money, #hobbies, #code, #eat, #morality, #charity

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dilbert says, "I gave five hundred dollars to charity this year." Dilbert continues, "I believe it's my moral duty to help those less fortunate." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert asks, "Five hundred dollars? What kind of morality is that?" Dogbert continues, "People are starving and you still have plenty of money left for your hobbies." Dogbert continues, "According to YOUR moral code it's more important for you to have a new computer than for poor people to eat." Dogbert continues, "Morality? Ha! You spent five hundred bucks to ease your own guilt!" Dilbert replies, "And it worked. I feel pretty good." Dilbert asks, "How much did YOU give to charity?" Dogbert replies, "A thousand. That's why I'm so torqued."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #engineers, #shun, #assigned, #budget, #pounce, #moment, #hypothetical, #electricity, #alice, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #tragic, #story, #update, #reported, #killed, #weather, #Sports, #injury, #news, #drove, #pedestrian

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching television and Dogbert sits on the hassock. The newscaster says, "After that tragic story we have an even more tragic update on a previously reported tragedy, then . . ." The news reporter continues, "We'll tell you about people who got killed by the weather. And in sports we profile the injury of the week." The newscaster continues, "And in local news, not much was happening, so we drove the news van around until we hit a pedestrian."