Doing Hood Comic Strips - Page 45

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467 Results for Doing Hood

View 441 - 450 results for doing hood comic strips. Discover the best "Doing Hood" comics from Dilbert.com.

Just Like Marketing

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Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #project, #managers, #stupidity, #transfer, #extinguished, #divinity

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boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Poison Pill

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Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner

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dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #money, #meeting, #employees, #taxes, #cancer, #sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

Ted Can't Make It

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Ted Can't Make It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #co-workers, #meeting, #project, #absence, #technology

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dilbert: ted says he can't make it to the meeting. wally: the only reason for this meeting is so ted can tell us what he's doing on his project. dilbert: we should reschedule. boss: not so fast. i think we can salvage this. if we guess what ted might have told us, that gets us halfway there. dilbert: i don't think it does. boss: we can't know until we try. dilbert: why don't the rest of us leave, and you can stay here and guess what we would have said, too. boss thinking alone at table: ...and then dilbert would have said...

I Will Send You A List

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I Will Send You A List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #target, #complicated, #detail, #list

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wally: and i plan to meet my targets by doing a variety of complicated things. boss: what kind of things? wally: i'll send you a detailed list. boss: what if you forget to send it? wally: with any luck, you'll forget you asked for it.

Refusing Works

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Refusing Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #refuse, #stupid, #power, #leash, #head, #sarcasm

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dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...

Gaslighting The Boss

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Gaslighting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #month, #november, #october, #birthday, #family relations, #wife, #gaslight

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boss: what's the name of the month that comes after october? dilbert: november boss: that's what i thought. my wife is trying to gaslight me so she doesn't have to buy me a birthday present. dilbert: how long has she been doing that? boss: i thought i was 26 years old until just now.

Business Lying

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Business Lying - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #lying, #context, #important, #acceptable, #sick, #sarcasm, #face mask

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tina: is it lying if i leave out important context from my project updates? dogbert: that's called "business lying" and it is totally acceptable. tina: but it makes me feel sick. dogbert: that's how you know you are doing it right.

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

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Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #telemedicine, #time, #doctor, #health, #pain, #rake, #leaves, #medicine

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dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Dilbert Has To Be Right

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Dilbert Has To Be Right  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-workers, #exercise, #arrogance, #Right, #therapy, #health

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dilbert and tine walking. tina: you argue with everything because you just have to be right. dilbert: how can you tell the difference between someone who "has to be right" versus someone who is right and you need therapy? tina: you're doing it again. dilbert: or am i?