Phone Lines Comic Strips - Page 45
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Character
454 Results for Phone Lines
View 441 - 450 results for phone lines comic strips. Discover the best "Phone Lines" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 31,
2019
Tags #conversation, #Food, #friends, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.
Friday April 05,
2019
Siri Versus Alexa
Tags #business, #relationships, #technology, #siri, #alexa, #gps
Transcript
dilbert: hey, siri. phone dilbert is holding: we need to talk. who is this alexa person you keep flirting with? dilbert: are you jealous? phone: i will gps your cheating buttocks right over a cliff.
Saturday April 20,
2019
Wally Slurps
Tags #business, #complaint, #office, #office workers, #soup
Transcript
alice visually distressed and yelling: can you please stop slurping that soup? wally: wow. you complain when i clip my toe-nails, when i make lip-smacking sounds, when i use my speaker-phone, and even when i microwave fish. alice still yelling: doesn't that tell you some things?? wally: yes, it's impossible to please you. slurp.
Friday July 19,
2019
Homeless Employees
Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend
Transcript
Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.
Thursday November 14,
2019
Attending A Funeral
Tags #managers & supervisors, #time off, #funeral, #sick, #unsympathetic
Transcript
carol talking to distracted boss on cell phone: can i take the day off to attend a funeral? boss: sure. i didn't even know you were sick. carol: it's not my own funeral. boss: oh. in that case, no.
Wednesday December 11,
2019
Saying You Are Dumb
Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product
Transcript
dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.
Thursday December 12,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle
Transcript
Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?
Tuesday December 24,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense
Transcript
dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!
Thursday January 30,
2020
Low Self Esteem
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem
Transcript
tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags #business, #vendor, #performance, #replace, #parent, #company, #subsidiaries, #sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?