Same Questions Comic Strips - Page 45

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View 441 - 450 results for same questions comic strips. Discover the best "Same Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #ignorance (knowledge), #new guy, #first day, #calling in sick, #message, #problem getting dressed, #head in arm hole, #boss can relate, #business

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Carol: It's the new guys first day and he's calling in sick. His message says he was putting on his shirt and got his head caught in an arm hole. Good hire. Boss: I had that same problem with my pants.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #sales personnel, #deluxe edition, #store, #online shopping, #unnecessary warranty extenstion, #digital receipt

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Dilbert: Okay, you talked me into buying the deluxe edition. Salesman: We don't have that one in stock, but I could call around to our other stores. Dilbert: Technically, that means this is not actually a store. You're more like online shopping, but with a terrible user interface. Watch me buy that same item with my phone while you stand there being obsolete. And... done. Salesman: Did they try to sell you an unnecessary warranty extension? Dilbert: No. Salesman: Yes! I still have a purpose! Dilbert: Here's my digital receipt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #project, #unstable applcation, #data model, #overly complex relational databse, #lazy, #business

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Boss: What's taking you so long on the project? Dilbert: The application is unstable because the data model is driven by an overly complex relational database and there was no integration testing. Boss: Does any of that mean the same thing as "lazy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #introvert, #drained, #human vibe, #bird, #furniture, #robots, #animals, #relationships

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Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #language, #leader, #steve jobs, #rinse with vinegar, #remove mold, #dot touch

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Boss: I see myself as a leader in the mold of Steve Jobs. Alice: Try rinsing your entire body with vinegar. That might remove his mold. Boss: Are we talking about the same thing? Alice: Please don't touch anything I own.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business

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Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answers, #asked, #dumb guy, #formatted data, #obvious in hindsight, #questions, #stare at me, #office seeting, #not enough questions

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Coworker: I don't have the data you requested last week because I didn't know how you wanted it formatted. Dilbert: You could have asked. Coworker: That's only obvious hindsight. Why does everyone stare at me that way?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #work ethic, #telecommuting, #exhausting, #dumb founded

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Dilbert: I thought you were telecommuting this week. Wally: It was too exhausting. Dilbert: I have no follow-up questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #can't memorize names, #handshake, #simultaneously, #names, #introductions

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Randy: Hi. I'm Randy. Dilbert: I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Randy: It's Randy. Dilbert; Don't even bother. Seriously.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #business plan, #corporate dysfunction, #dishonesty, #incompetence, #longer, #lumbering monument, #seeking feedback, #more of the same

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Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?