Employees Comic Strips - Page 46

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581 Results for Employees

View 451 - 460 results for employees comic strips. Discover the best "Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Air Bag

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Wally's Air Bag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags air bags, laziness, work ethic, underpants, accidental asignments, system, offcie, work, employees, business

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Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!

Sounded Interesting From Across The Room

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Sounded Interesting From Across The Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, smartphone technology, speed evolve, meta organism, sum of parts, looked interetsing, employees, coffee break, cups, business

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Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.

Boss Uses Hickory Wand

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Boss Uses Hickory Wand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags harry potter, magic, wand, wizard, leadership, hickory branch

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Boss: I keep saying leader-ish things, but the employees are still terrible. Catbert: Try using this hickory branch as a wand. Boss: Qualitos improvimentus! Wally: I'll be on the Harry Potter.

Super Pumpedness

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Super Pumpedness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, jargon, nausea, super pumpedness, bag, vomit

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CEO: The quality we look for in our employees is "super pumpedness." Alice: Blechhhh!!! I told you to bring a bag.

Embellishing Resumes

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Embellishing Resumes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success

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Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.

Embellishing Resume At Work

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Embellishing Resume At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, self-promotion, embellishment, managers

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Boss: One of my employees keeps embellishing his accomplishments. CEO: If he works in engineering, fire him. If he works in marketing, promote him. Boss: He doesn't work at all. CEO: Sounds like you have a leader on your hands.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers

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The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Only Masochist Would Live Here

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Only Masochist Would Live Here - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, jobs, talent, masochist, masochism, expectations, work ethic, work environment

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CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

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Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, qualifications, interview, job interview, outsmart

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Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

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Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

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CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.