Technology Comic Strips - Page 46

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803 Results for Technology

View 451 - 460 results for technology comic strips. Discover the best "Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dashboard For The Boss

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Dashboard For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, ruse, trick, deception.

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Dilbert: It's called a dashboard. It shows the current status of all our projects. With a tool like this, you never need to ask us for status updates. Wally: How'd the fake dashboard gambit work out? Dilbert: Great! He hasn't talked to me in weeks.

Dashboard Never Changes

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Dashboard Never Changes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, trick, technology, status, ruse

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Boss: I noticed that the project dashboard you wrote for me never changes. Dilbert: That's because our projects are always doing great. Boss: It's a static image, isn't it? Dilbert: You're gonna wish you asked that three weeks ago.

Brittle Phone Design

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Brittle Phone Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, big business, fragile, iphone, technology

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Boss: We made our new phone extra-brittle and gave it a sleek, but slippery case. Consumers will be forced to choose between an ugly protective cover or replacing the phone three times a year. Dilbert: Who would buy such a thing? Boss: We also made it addictive.

Addictive Apps

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Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, app, zombie, mindlessness, cell phone, marketing, business

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Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Drone Defense System

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Drone Defense System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drone, help, rescue, inept, failure, technology

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Dilbert: The government asked us to design a system to stop drone attacks on the homeland. The future of civilization is in our hands. Wally: I'm gonna miss civilization.

Drone Defense Has One Problem

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Drone Defense Has One Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags drones, national security, invention, technology, birds, death, environmental issues, medical

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Dilbert: We are testing the drone defense shield as I speak. Boss: Is it working so far? Dilbert: Not according to the Audubon Society.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, mistake, boss, review, human resources, revenge, business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Messages For The Boss

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Messages For The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, internet, modernity, attention, distraction, excuses, technology

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Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, robot, technology, fairness, unfair, golden parachute, oblivioiusness

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CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypothetical, worst-case scenario, pessimism, nightmare

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Boss: What's the worst-case scenario? Dilbert: A rogue nation could insert a cyberweapon on our software. The virus could destroy all technology on Earth. Lacking the means to communicate over great distances, single people would only be able to marry people who lived nearby. I could end up marrying your daughter. That would make you my father-in-law and my boss. That nightmare would cause me to denounce humankind and go live in a park, naked, with a family of squirrels. When winter came, I would be forced to strangle the squirrels, one by one, to make myself a coat. I can't tan leather, so that would be a senseless tragedy. Boss: Let's try to avoid that.