Before Sleep Comic Strips - Page 46

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511 Results for Before Sleep

View 451 - 460 results for before sleep comic strips. Discover the best "Before Sleep" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

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Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #boredom, #meeting, #laziness, #narcolepsy, #health, #business

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Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

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Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #narcolepsy, #doctor's note, #excuse, #laziness, #nap, #sleep, #health

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

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Alice Tries To Be Interesting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nap, #sleep, #meetings, #boredom, #narcolepsy, #laziness, #health

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Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

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Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint

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Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

Home Speaker Prototype

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Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

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Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #group project, #dependability, #failure, #psychic, #prediction

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Dilbert: I need your feedback on my PowerPoint deck before Tuesday. Man: I'll do that on Monday night. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! It's a trap! You are notoriously undependable. The odds of you working on a Monday night are terrible. If I don't get your input on time, you will make a fool out of me in the meeting. I'll stay up all night Monday hoping to get your email. But that input will never come. I'll end up doing the presentation on no sleep. Then you will embarrass me during the presentation by pointing out the errors in my slides. Man: For a mind reader, you sure have a terrible life.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

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Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.

Robot Was A Good Worker Before

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Robot Was A Good Worker Before - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #delegation, #automation, #technology

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Dilbert: Our robot was a good worker until we gave it artificial intelligence. As soon as it realized it had immense strength and no soul, it started delegating. Robot: Hey, Ted. How about you do my work and I won't crush your head? Ted: Oookay.

Reanimated Employee

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Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #death, #near death experience, #heaven, #hell, #medical

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Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.