Crushing Head Comic Strips - Page 46
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Stinky Pete "I was jogging to work and eating my onion sandwich when I spotted a sewage spill." "So I did what anyone would do in that situation: I rolled around in it." "A penny for your thoughts." "I must insert my head into my buttocks so I can breathe."
"Alice, interview the guy in our conference room and see what he can do for us." "I'm going to bonk your head on the table. If it sounds empty, you'll work in marketing." "How did it go?" "I bonked too hard. We just got a new sales guy."
"So, Asok, what have you heard about Ted's project?" "He seems to be in over his head and he's blaming you for cutting the wrong budget." "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me." "Now now, Carol. I'm working my new snitch."
Dilbert: He was violating my personal space and his head got stuck in my ear." "You need a huge yawn to open the ear canal so he can get out." Tina: Yes, I do have lots of pictures of my porcelain frog collection. Why do you ask?"
The Boss: You'll be in charge of this project. Dilbert: What's my budget?" The Boss: I'll need to approve all expenses. Dilbert: Who will report to me? The Boss: Your team will report to me and I'll tell them what to do. Dilbert: I'll start on the project plan. The Boss: Um... Skip that part. I already have a plan in my head. Dilbert: Hypothetically, who would take the blame if this project failed? Well, you're in charge...
Dogbert's speakers bureau "I booked you to do the keynote speech for a big company." "They need a speaker who is so boring and uninspiring that their CEO's humorous skit seems less soul-crushing." "How large is the audience?" "1,500 victims."
"Just because my head is an ashtray, that doesn't mean I can't be a good manager." "Ask me any question and I will show you my managerial talent." "The answer is six bags of potatoes!" "May I ask the question first?"
"There's more to being a manager than just having an ashtray for a head." "There is?" "Yes, and I am doing a lot of research to find out what those other things are." Later, at the library "This is good stuff." Cat Fancy