Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 46
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1000 Results for Avoid Work
View 451 - 460 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 28,
2015
Wally Gets Nano Robot Injection
Tags nanorobot, nanobot, health, motivation, work ethic
Transcript
Catbert: For our employee wellness program we will inject nanorobots into your bloodstream to keep you free of disease. The nanorobots will also rewire your brain to make you a more effective worker. You might even feel motivated. Wally: Those robots are going to be disappointed.
Monday August 17,
2015
Dilbert Invents A Brain Stimulator
Tags work ethic, happiness, work, labor, employee, stimulation, boredom, interest, human resources, psychology, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My brain stimulator will keep me interested in your meetings, no matter how boring they are. Now I can enjoy work and get paid, too. It seems I have beaten the system. Catbert: He's enjoying what? Boss; Work. It's super creepy.
Sunday August 09,
2015
Tags employee, Advice, health, wellness, money, cost, work ethic, fatigue, Family, marriage, support, insult, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert: The long hours of work are taking a toll on my body. Can I take some time off for my health? Boss; That would defeat the whole point of being an employee. You are supposed to be trading your health and happiness for money. Then you give that money to your family and watch them spend it while you eat yourself to death. It's a circle of life sort of thing. Dilbert: I'm not married. Boss: Loser.
Monday August 03,
2015
Working Sixty Hours A Week
Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity
Transcript
Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Friday July 24,
2015
Sense Of Awe
Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!
Monday July 20,
2015
Tina Can't Compete With Smartphone
Tags conversation, distraction, attention, technology, stimulation, frustration, smart phone, cell phone, social, socialization, etiquette & ethics, social skills
Transcript
Tina: I want to go to lunch. Dilbert: I don't see how that can work. Your conversation skills can't compete with the stimulation I can get from my smartphone and my smartwatch. Tina: I would scowl at you if I could get your attention. Dilbert: Ooh!
Tuesday July 14,
2015
How The Elbonians Spun It
Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment
Transcript
Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.
Thursday July 09,
2015
Hard Work Is Necessary For Success
Tags work ethic, laziness, misunderstanding, motivation, hard work, Advice, brainwash
Transcript
Wally: Remember, Asok, success requires hard work and sacrifice. Asok: Got it! I will work hard and sacrifice! Wally: I was going to say that's why you should avoid success. Who brainwashed you?
Wednesday July 08,
2015
Attendance Strategy
Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.

