Business Failures/Bankruptcies Comic Strips - Page 46
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1000 Results for Business Failures/Bankruptcies
View 451 - 460 results for business failures/bankruptcies comic strips. Discover the best "Business Failures/Bankruptcies" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Wednesday January 08,
2020
Trial Postponed
Tuesday January 07,
2020
Court Of Stupidity
Monday January 06,
2020
Common Sense
Tags business, managers & supervisors, common sense, request, specifications, assumption, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: this isn't what i wanted. dilbert: it is, unless you gave me the wrong specs. boss: i assume you would use your common sense to know what i wanted. dilbert: did you common sense help you make that assumption?
Sunday January 05,
2020
Clear Email From Boss
Tags managers & supervisors, servers, request, email, reply, project, update, fight, business
Transcript
boss: why didn't you upgrade the servers like i asked? dilbert: you never asked me to do that. boss: yes, i did. i told you in an email. dilbert: no, you did not. boss: i know i saw it because you replied. dilbert: i replied to a different email. boss: okay, let me find the email and show you how wrong you are. see. it clearly says, "give me a project update by thursday." dilbert: which is...an entirely different topic. boss: why are you fighting me on this?
Friday January 03,
2020
Incompetent Employees
Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, bureaucratic, employees, incompetent, inefficiency, yin, yang
Transcript
catbert: it might my imagination, but it looks as if all of our employees are incompetent. boss: we need to create a tangle of bureaucratic rules that make it impossible for them to get anything done. catbert: you want to use inefficiency to protect us against incompetence? boss: yin and yang.
Wednesday January 01,
2020
Rfp Process
Tags business, managers & supervisors, rfp, proceed, stupid, technology, obsolete
Transcript
dilbert: we finished the r.f.p. process and selected a vendor. but it tool so long that all of their technology is obsolete. should i proceed stupidly? boss: it got us this far.
Monday December 30,
2019
Pre Meeting
Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, pre-meeting, canceled, sarcasm, business, reality
Transcript
boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.
Friday December 27,
2019
Employer Of The Year
Tags advertising, managers & supervisors, employer, year, million dollars, attitude, business
Transcript
boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.
Thursday December 26,
2019
Magazine Article
Tags business, publication, salesman, advertisement, best, company, decision
Transcript
magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?


