Garbage Man Comic Strips - Page 46
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1000 Results for Garbage Man
View 451 - 460 results for garbage man comic strips. Discover the best "Garbage Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 28,
2008
Tags answer technical question, bad actor, best person, fake own death, helping customer, insult dead, just a quick question, polite, safest course, work that divison, commercial sales
Transcript
A man says, "Hi, I'm a customer of your commercial sales division." "The man says, "I heard you would be the best person to answer a technical question..." Dilbert says, "I don't work in that division." The man says, "I know. It's just a quick question." Dilbert says, "If I tell you something different from what the commercial division tells you, I'll get in trouble." Dilbert says, "But I'll also get in trouble for not helping a customer." Dilbert says, "My safest course of action is to fake my own death." The man says, "You're a bad actor." Dilbert says, "It isn't polite to insult the dead."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday September 23,
2008
Tags trouble ticket, have problem, catch all, shift change, eascalation, accidental disconnect
Transcript
A man says, "How can you say my trouble ticket is resolved when I still have the problem??!" Dogbert says, "Resolved is a catch-all term that can mean a shift change, escalation, or even an accidental disconnect." The man says, "So... you escalated it?" CLICK
Sunday September 21,
2008
Tags meetings, introductions, erin, sue boysenberry, resume, shrink, prescribe pills, be strong, self employed
Transcript
A man says, "Please introduce yourself by saying your name and who you work for." A woman says, "My name is Erin and I work for Sue Boysenberry." The man says, "Wow, lucky. I hear she's great." Another man says, "Can you give her my resume?" One Minute Later The second man says, "I'm so sorry for you." Another woman says, "You must cry a lot." The second man says, "If you ever need to talk to someone, I know a good shrink." The second man says, "He can prescribe pills that will make you feel self-employed." The second woman says, "Be strong. We'll all pray for you." The first man says, "Next."
Saturday September 13,
2008
Tags purse at home, pay you, curse of competence, fortune teller, curse on first born, crystal ball
Transcript
Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"
Friday September 05,
2008
Tags cost estimates, eyebrwo, ghost, recognize ghost, helpful, how to kill, garlic and shopvac
Transcript
A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."
Monday September 01,
2008
Tags job interview, bed news, upset, hire someone, hates boss, set up, cruel
Transcript
Job Interview The Boss says, "Would you tell me bad news even if you knew it would upset me?" A man says, "Yes, I would." The Boss says, "Why would I hire someone who hates me?"
Tuesday August 19,
2008
Tags improve reputation, million dollars, tramps, money to needy, dnation
Transcript
The Boss says, "I want to improve our reputation in the community by donating money to the needy." The Boss says, "Find me a photogenic hobo who could use a million dollars." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a hobo who could use a million dollars." A man says, "Sorry, we're tramps."
Thursday August 07,
2008
Tags financial bakery, abuse, zero units, cook books, foot notes, smell like feet
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."
Thursday July 31,
2008
Tags plaintiff, favor of, weasel, unanimous, wants to leave, juror, jury, jurors box, legal
Transcript
JUROR: "We find in favor of the plaintiff dude." "There was some discussion about which one is the plaintiff - the complainy guy or the weasel." "But we were unanimous in not wanting to be here any longer." Another man says, "Aye!"
Tuesday July 29,
2008
Tags jury selection, big eyebrows, dumb as you look, manipulate, love, relationships
Transcript
Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."

