Managers Comic Strips - Page 46
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
596 Results for Managers
View 451 - 460 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday September 15,
2013
Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, product changes, change orders, new features, online change order system, old forms, change order, managemet, better plan, business
Transcript
Boss; Don't make any product changes without change orders. When users ask for new features, direct them to the online change order system. Dilbert: That system only has the old forms. Boss: Tell someone to put the new ones on there. Wally: That would require a change order. Dilbert: Maybe we could tell users our sense of hope was killed by something called management. The we could sort of slump over like we're waiting for death's cold embrace. Boss: I'll get back to you if I think of a better plan.
Wednesday August 28,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, Opinion, influence recommendation, well informed, easily informed, charismatic ignorance, business
Transcript
Boss: I won't give my opinion because I don't want to influence your recommendation. Dilbert: Good idea. My well-informed mind is so easily swayed by your charismatic ignorance. Boss: That's not what I'm saying. Dilbert: Then who did I hear?
Tuesday August 20,
2013
Tags cruelty, honesty, managers & supervisors, motivation, insincere, bar too high, low motivation, business
Transcript
Dilbert: My motivation is low today. I understand it's your job to fix that situation. An insincere attaboy or a fake interest in my life would be enough. Boss: Drop dead and let the flies eat you. Dilbert: I set the bar too high again.
Friday August 16,
2013
Tags cruelty, grades, managers & supervisors, small animal snuff film, sociopath module, punch a squirrel, extra credit, coffee pot, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I heard you got booted off the management fast track. Wally: Yeah. I fell asleep during the small animal snuff film and failed the sociopath module. Dilbert: That seems harsh. Wally: I offered to punch a squirrel, but they don't allow extra credit.
Friday August 09,
2013
Tags boredom, cruelty, managers & supervisors, expensive, japanese management technique, banishment room, tolerance for boredom, business
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I don't want to fire you because that would be expensive. So I'm borrowing a Japanese management technique and transferring you to a banishment room until you get so bored you quit. Ted: Looks like someone underestimated my tolerance for boredom.
Thursday August 08,
2013
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, new strategy, engineers, middle manager, glue, binds, vague objectives, business
Transcript
Carol: What did our CEO have to say? Boss: He has a new strategy, but it seems vague. Carol: What will the engineers think about it? Boss: They don't care about this stuff. Carol: What exactly does a middle manager do? Boss: We're the glue that binds the apathy to the vague objectives.
Thursday August 01,
2013
Tags apathy, managers & supervisors, no confidence, management, low score, cancel surveys, business
Transcript
Boss: According to the employee survey, 98% of you have no confidence in management. Rest assured, management will make sure we never again get such a low score. CEO: Cancel all future employee surveys.
Saturday July 27,
2013
Tags business ethics, coffee & tea, managers & supervisors, brain scan, management potential, warm brown liquid, speed evolved, coffee reservoir, business
Transcript
Catbert: Your brain scan shows tremendous management potential. The part of your brain that would normally control ethics is filled with some sort of warm, brown liquid. It appears that you speed-evolved part of your brain into a coffee reservoir. Wally: People think I don't have a plan.
Friday July 26,
2013
Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, ethics course, failed ethics, engineer, grasp, fast track, management, corrupt, business, engineering
Transcript
Boss: You failed the online ethics course for the third time. You can't be an engineer for this company if you have no grasp of business ethics. You leave me no choice. I'm putting you on the management fast track. Wally: Huh.
Saturday July 13,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, new procurement policy, p.o.o.p., thinking, business
Transcript
Boss: It took us three days at the executive retreat to come up with a name for our new procurement policy. We named it the "Procurement Operations Oversight Policy." Dilbert: P.O.O.P.? Boss: Do you know how many managers it takes to come up with a good name? Dilbert: A few more than you had?

