Office Workers Comic Strips - Page 46
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1000 Results for Office Workers
View 451 - 460 results for office workers comic strips. Discover the best "Office Workers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday March 20,
2018
Temperature Court
Tags thermostat, temperature, hot, cold, office, office workers, disagreement
Transcript
Dogbert: Welcome to temperature court. One of you has frozen appendages and one of you is burning up. But only one temperature can rule the office. I rule that the thermostat must be set at exactly 72 degrees. Dilbert: Noooo!!! Alice: Shoot me!
Wednesday February 28,
2018
Disgruntled Carol
Tags personality test, personality, mental illness, fear, threat, danger, psychology
Transcript
Boss: Did you take The Dogbert Personality Type Test? Carol: Yes. I'm a disgruntled psychopath with a blinding hatred for authority. Boss: I'll be in my office. Carol: Good! Stay there!
Sunday February 04,
2018
Tags my value, new assignments, projects, slow walker, rivals in management
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?
Sunday January 14,
2018
Tags network, optics, stupid company, Women, imagination, flirting, miscommunication, co workers, argument, women in management, employees, business
Transcript
Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.
Wednesday January 10,
2018
You Heard A Rumor
Tags consultaion, insult, rumor, divulge source, dating pillow, co - workers
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Nevre insult your co workers directly. The company would fire you for that. Instead say you heard a rumor but you can't divulge your source. Asok: that feels wrong. Dogbert: Someone told me your dating your pillow.
Tuesday January 09,
2018
Insulting Within Company Guidelines
Tags teach, insult, compliment, function, guidelines, co workers, insult co workers
Transcript
DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...
Monday January 08,
2018
Dogbert's Insult Consulting
Tags company rules, insulting, co workers, teach how, insult, within guidelines, standing desk, meeting, employer, business
Transcript
Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.
Sunday December 24,
2017
Tags military, office workers, survival, hero
Transcript
Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.
Friday November 10,
2017
Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him
Tags laziness, deception, invisibility, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.


