Attend Stupid Meetings Comic Strips - Page 46

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

491 Results for Attend Stupid Meetings

View 451 - 460 results for attend stupid meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Attend Stupid Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Is Not A Quitter

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Not A Quitter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #social media, #internet, #troll, #trolling, #baiting, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: That stupid online troll is insulting me again on social media! I keep defending myself, but instead of agreeing with me, he keeps calling me "defensive" and "pathetic," Carol: Maybe you could stop engaging with him. Boss: I'm not a quitter!

Wally's Watch Is A Snitch

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Watch Is A Snitch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wearable tech, #health, #surveillance, #fitbit, #monitor, #fitness, #attendance

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I can't come to work today. I'm totally sick. Boss: According to your employee health monitor, you're not sick at all. Wally: Stupid snitch!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Human Sensation Slipping Away

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Human Sensation Slipping Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2017's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #humanity, #technology, #existentialism, #existential crisis, #awareness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

Wally Has A Car Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Has A Car Problem  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #blame, #excuse, #laziness, #problems, #starbucks, #car problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sorry I'm late. I had a car problem. Boss: What kind of car problem? Wally: I didn't get in it soon enough. Boss: That sounds like a "you" problem. Wally: Then my stupid car took me to Starbucks.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Rooms Are Booked  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Elbonian Interference

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Interference - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hacker, #hacking, #trolls, #protest, #counter-protest, #obliviousness, #manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Uh-oh. I think we are being attacked by an Elbonian troll farm. They're organizing an employee protest against management and... a management counter-protest against employees. Luckily, no one here is stupid enough to... Boss: Down with employees!

Our Api

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Our Api - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hackers, #hacking, #api, #jargon, #obliviousness, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Reporter. Dogbert: How did hackers get access to your customer data? CEO: I'm told they used something called "our A.P.I." to suck out all the data. Dogbert: I'll just say you'er stupid. CEO: Why does everyone always say that?

Facial Recognition Software

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Facial Recognition Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #facial recognition, #stupid, #insult, #obliviousness, #prototype, #intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm designing a device that uses facial recognition to detect stupidity. I need your help creating the pattern-recognition algorithm. Boss: What do you need me to do? Dilbert: Look straight ahead and smile.

Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Speaks Truth To Power - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2018's comic on:


Tags #award, #irony, #honesty, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Dilbert gets the Employee Of The Year award for speaking truth to power. Dilbert: Thanks, but all I do is agree with whatever ridiculous thing you say because it's just easier that way. Boss: Just take the stupid award! Dilbert: I'm honored.