Digital Phone Comic Strips - Page 46
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466 Results for Digital Phone
View 451 - 460 results for digital phone comic strips. Discover the best "Digital Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 24,
2019
Dogbert's Tech Support
Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense
Transcript
dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!
Thursday January 30,
2020
Low Self Esteem
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #business, #self esteem
Transcript
tina: i have low self-esteem, but the other day i was thinking... what if i'm actually great and i just don't know it? dilbert looking at phone: you're not.
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
Saturday February 08,
2020
Vendor Not Performing
Tags #business, #vendor, #performance, #replace, #parent, #company, #subsidiaries, #sub-contract
Transcript
dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?
Tuesday April 28,
2020
Spring Cleaning
Tags #baboons, #birthday, #business, #cleaning, #criminals, #drunk, #files, #list, #servers, #spring, #white-collar
Transcript
boss on cell phone: we need to do spring cleaning. delete any data on our servers that make us look like white-collar criminals or drunken baboons. dilbert: all that leaves is our birthday list. boss through phone line: torch that too.
Sunday July 05,
2020
Tracking Dilbert
Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working
Transcript
dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #zoom, #call, #voice only, #makeup, #hermit, #fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
Tuesday December 29,
2020
Microwaving Fish
Tags #managers & supervisors, #microwave, #fish, #working from home, #smell, #rotting, #corpse, #cubicle
Transcript
boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.
Wednesday December 30,
2020
Important Context
Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #question, #answer, #context, #rude, #interrupt
Transcript
alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.
Saturday January 23,
2021
Robot Calls
Tags #business, #technology, #robot, #intelligence, #human, #indistinguishable, #Number, #recognize, #rule, #earth
Transcript
voice coming from phone: as soon as robot intelligence is indistinguishable from home, the robots will rule the earth! dilbert: i don't recognize this number. who are you? please don't say a robot. voice: let's just say only one of us will rot.