Entire Budget Comic Strips - Page 46

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

462 Results for Entire Budget

View 451 - 460 results for entire budget comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

New Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Forms - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.

View more books now

Ten Year Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ten Year Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget, #business, #finances, #guilt, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: How reliable are your ten-year financial projections? Dilbert: They are as reliable as all other ten-year financial predictions. Tina: Okay, good. Dilbert: Why do I feel guilty every time I talk at work?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #office workers, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #office, #office workers, #pay raise, #employee of the year

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for nominations for employee of the year. the boss: does anyone have a suggestion? dilbert: hypothetically, would the winner of this award be likely to get a larger-than-normal pay raise? the boss: i would think so, yes. dilbert: and is it true that our budget for raises is limited? the boss: yes, of course. dilbert: would it not be against my best interests to nominate an employee who is competing with me for scarce resources? the boss: let's just forget i brought it up. dilbert: i nominate myself.

Hallucinations At Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

View Transcript

Transcript

in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Wally Covers For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

Dilbert Murders Robots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Murders Robots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lifetime Of Being Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #wrong, #decision, #career, #assess, #life, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Management Got Virus

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Management Got Virus - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #health, #management, #coronavirus, #quarantined, #work, #wisdom, #idiot, #theme, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the entire management team has contracted coronavirus and is quarantined. they asked me to tell you to stop working, because without their wisdom, you idiots will ruin everything. any questions? dilbert: no, i think you covered the main themes.