Protect Money Comic Strips - Page 46

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

625 Results for Protect Money

View 451 - 460 results for protect money comic strips. Discover the best "Protect Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #angry, #meeting, #anger management, #group, #scam, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Welcome to Eddy's school of anger management. I'm Eddy." You Man says, "I was once like you: Angry at every idiot in the world." Group says, "How'd you stop being angry at idiots?" Man says, "I created a school so they'd give me money while I insulted them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic

View Transcript

Transcript

Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pay, #salary, #money, #complaining, #sub-par, #angry, #promise, #mean, #cruel

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Tina, I just learned that your pay is 20% below the industry average for your job." The Boss says, "I will correct this injustice, no matter what it takes!" Tine says, "You would do that for me?" The Boss says, "You have my word that I will lower the industry average!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #reading, #e-mail, #memo, #urging, #congress, #law, #opposed, #annoyed, #ridicule, #business, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wanting, #award, #scheme, #planning, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I want to win a humanitarian award." Dogbert says, "But I don't want to touch anyone who is sick. Or poor. Or unattractive." The Boss says, "Do you want to donate your time or money?" Dogbert says, "I'm hoping to donate your time and the stockholders' money."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #idea, #moving, #identity, #theft, #introduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We're moving our data center to Elbonia to save money." Dilbert says, "That seems a bit dangerous since every Elbonian is an identity thief." The Boss says, "What?" It seemed like an exaggeration, but it wasn't. Elbonian says ,"Hi, I'm old man Podemkin." Elbonian says, "I was him this morning!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #reprimand, #discipline, #excuses, #explaining, #raises, #news, #budget, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, when you don't give 100%, it's unfair to your co-workers who have to pick up the slack." Wally says, "Actually, I'm pretty sure they like having less competition for raises." The Boss says, "There's no budget for raises this year." Wally says, "Yeah, I wouldn't mention that to the others."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rude, #mockery, #faxing, #1995, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Can I send our requirements to your fax?" Dilbert says, "Absolutely." Dilbert says, "I'll just travel back in time to 1995, when faxing was a good way to handle this sort of thing." Man says, "You realize I'm your customer, right?" Dilbert says, "Until you spend all of your money on new fax machones."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #less meetings, #less micromangemt, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #more meetings, #more with less, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We have to learn to do more with less." Dilbert says, "Less meetings?" The Boss says, "No. We'll need more meetings to figure out how to do more with less." Alice says, "Less micro-management?" The Boss says, "No, I'll have to watch you more closely than ever to make sure you're doing mroe with less." The Boss says, "I'm talking about using less money." Alice says, "Oh, like a death spiral. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Alice says, "It's as if you're talking more to say less." Dilbert says, "Should we be more like you or less?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #open minded, #worst idea, #hostory, #not give raise, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."