Managers Comic Strips - Page 47
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596 Results for Managers
View 461 - 470 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday July 14,
2020
Boss Follows Racists On Twitter
Tags business, covid, follow, managers & supervisors, pandemic, proof, racists, reports, staff, twitter, white supremacist
Transcript
ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.
Wednesday July 15,
2020
Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist
Tags business, managers & supervisors, racism, fired, employees, white supremacist, apathy, career, punch, witness, denial
Transcript
ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.
Thursday July 16,
2020
Who Started The Rumor
Tags accused, business, covid, fired, job, managers & supervisors, motive, office workers, pandemic, racism, replacement, rumor, unjust, white supremacist
Transcript
boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.
Wednesday July 22,
2020
No Talk About Morale
Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, morale, talk, engagement, workplace, culture, happy, question, covid, pandemic
Transcript
dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.
Friday July 24,
2020
Reasonable Assumptions
Tags managers & supervisors, business, plan, reasonable, unreasonable, assumptions, job, face mask, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.
Sunday August 09,
2020
Vendor With No Facemask
Tags covering, face, face mask, managers & supervisors, plastic, required, suffocated, vendor
Transcript
boss: can you believe a vendor tried to come in here with no face mask? i told him it didn't matter what kind of face covering he used, it only mattered that he had one. this is where my tale takes a dark turn. now peeved, the vendor stormed back to his car, where he had a bagged lunch. he angrily removed the plastic wrap from his sandwich and wrapped it around his head to serve as his face mask. he suffocated in minutes obviously. dilbert: is that the sandwich? boss: would have gone to waste.
Monday July 27,
2020
No Raise In Years
Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, raise, nine, years, face mask, employment
Transcript
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
Tuesday July 28,
2020
Deep Disrespect For Authority
Tags interview, managers & supervisors, question, weakness, disrespect, authority, surprise
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: what would you say are your weaknesses? office worker: i have a deep disrespect for authority. boss: but...you don't act on it, right? office worker: let's not take the surprise out of it.
Wednesday July 29,
2020
Bad Judge Of Character
Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.
Thursday July 30,
2020
We Have No Strategy
Tags managers & supervisors, business, strategy, meeting, complain, cheap, jealous, wisdom
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy


