Ceo Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

627 Results for Ceo

View 461 - 470 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executive, ceo, delegate, respoinsibilities, punishment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.

El Gato Leadership

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
El Gato Leadership - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags kissing up, brown nosing, delegate, wisdom, idiocy, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!

Click Rate On Death Alerts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Click Rate On Death Alerts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.

Ceo Buys People On The Internet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Buys People On The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.

Ceo Is Slave Owner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Is Slave Owner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slave, slaves, slavery, buying, pay, wages, housework, house servant, maid, maids, help, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Buy One Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slave, slaves, slavery, owner, obliviousness, nuance, help, maid, maids, servant, servants, semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.

How The Elbonians Spun It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Sense Of Awe

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!