Ceo Comic Strips - Page 47
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627 Results for Ceo
View 461 - 470 results for ceo comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 02,
2015
Ceo Tosses Catbert
Tags executive, ceo, delegate, respoinsibilities, punishment
Transcript
CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!
Wednesday June 03,
2015
Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert
Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals
Transcript
CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.
Thursday June 04,
2015
El Gato Leadership
Tags kissing up, brown nosing, delegate, wisdom, idiocy, leadership
Transcript
CEO: Remember, intern, you can't spell delegate without some of the letters of "El Gato." Asok: Your saying is ridiculous and yet I find it compelling because it came from a leader. CEO: No, it is I who have learned the most from your ignorance. Asok: That is so wise!
Tuesday June 16,
2015
Click Rate On Death Alerts
Tags advertising, technology, analytics, smart watch, app, ad, click, clickbait, attention, distraction
Transcript
Boss: Our health app accurately predicts the user's time of death and sends a five-minute warning. Our business model is paid advertising that we disguise as "death alerts." CEO: How's the click-through rate? Boss: Surprisingly low. It's hard to get people's attention these days.
Friday July 10,
2015
Ceo Buys People On The Internet
Tags book, internet, friends, struggle, buying friends, fake, technology
Transcript
CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.
Saturday July 11,
2015
Ceo Is Slave Owner
Tags slave, slaves, slavery, buying, pay, wages, housework, house servant, maid, maids, help, money
Transcript
Wally: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: No, nothing like that. All I did was buy some Elbonians on the Internet. Wally: Do they clean your house without pay? CEO: I assume they're a tidy people.
Sunday July 12,
2015
Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter
Transcript
Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.
Monday July 13,
2015
Buy One Elbonian
Tags slave, slaves, slavery, owner, obliviousness, nuance, help, maid, maids, servant, servants, semantics
Transcript
Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.
Tuesday July 14,
2015
How The Elbonians Spun It
Tags slavery, slave, slaves, semantics, owner, ownership, obliviousness, wages, money, pay, payment
Transcript
Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.
Friday July 24,
2015
Sense Of Awe
Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!


