Employee Comic Strips - Page 47

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514 Results for Employee

View 461 - 470 results for employee comic strips. Discover the best "Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Answering Questions In Email

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Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, male employee, email, questions

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Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.

Jerry The Contract Employee

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Jerry The Contract Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags threat, Dilbert, the boss, jerry, contract, zebra, agile

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The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, employee, calendar, week, awkward, problem, schedule, relative, lunch, sandwich

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Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

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Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Fyi Boss

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Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, email, managers & supervisors

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Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

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Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, decision, employees, company

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Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Boxes With Names

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Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, suspicious, layoff

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Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?

Dilbert And Brainwashing

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Dilbert And Brainwashing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoidance, employees, office, office workers, sarcasm

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Boss: Why is your employee engagement so low? Dilbert: Because I'm relatively immune to brainwashing. Boss: Okay, I didn't think you knew.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, obliviousness, questions, data, measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.