Employee Turnover Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

518 Results for Employee Turnover

View 461 - 470 results for employee turnover comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Turnover" comics from Dilbert.com.

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.

Dilbert Offers To Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Offers To Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #help, #project, #sucker, #woman employee

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to help you on your project. Woman Employee: Yes!! My dream of getting paid while other people do my work is becoming a reality! Dilbert: I might have played this wrong. Woman employee: Sucker!

How Dilbert Can Help

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How Dilbert Can Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #project, #criticism, #option, #boss, #worthless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How can I help you on your project? Woman Employee: I'll send you my files and you can do all of my work while I criticize you behind your back. Dilbert: Is there another option? Woman Employee: Yes, it' involves telling your boss you're worthless.

Answering Questions In Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Answering Questions In Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.

Jerry The Contract Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jerry The Contract Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #threat, #Dilbert, #the boss, #jerry, #contract, #zebra, #agile

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #employee, #calendar, #week, #awkward, #problem, #schedule, #relative, #lunch, #sandwich

View Transcript

Transcript

Male Employee: Do you have an hour to meet next week? Dilbert: Let me check my calendar. Next week is not good. Male Employee: You don't have one hour of free time all week? Dilbert: Well, this is awkward. The problem isn't my schedule so much as your total lack of value relative to my alternatives. Male Employee: Maybe we could meet over lunch? Dilbert: I like to focus on my sandwich.

Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Makes Her Boss Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #insults, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, always remember that a good employee makes her boss look good. Alice: Maybe I could toss a blanket over you when other people are around. Boss: I'm not talking about my physical appearance. Alice: The blanket would also muffle the sound.

Fyi Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fyi Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more of an "FYI Boss". I'll forward emails that already went to every employee and add a note saying, "FYI". Dilbert: Do you call that managing? Boss: No, I call it leading.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Boxes With Names

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boxes With Names - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #suspicious, #layoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The rumors of a major layoff are completely untrue. Dilbert: Why did the facilities management people just deliver a huge load of cardboard boxes to the break room? Boss: You can never have too many boxes. Dilbert: Why does every box have an employee name on it?