Succession Plan Comic Strips - Page 47

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510 Results for Succession Plan

View 461 - 470 results for succession plan comic strips. Discover the best "Succession Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

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Meeting Rooms Are Booked - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict

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Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

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Already Tried That Plan

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Already Tried That Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disagreement, #argument, #opposites, #conflict

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Dilbert: We tried that plan already and it didn't work. Boss: Stop living in the past. Dilbert: Stop refusing to learn from experience. Boss: Wait... why do we both sound right? Dilbert; I don't know. It's freaking me out a little.

Asking Successful People For Advice

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Asking Successful People For Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #success, #Advice, #ambition

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Asok: Every time I ask a successful person for career advice, I get a different answer. Carol: My plan for success is to lull my boss into a fatal accident and take over his identity. Asok: I'm not asking unsuccessful people for advice. Carol: Is that how you talk to your future boss?

Reducing Headcount By Attrition

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Reducing Headcount By Attrition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #injury, #layoff, #osha, #safety

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CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.

Mind Reader Coworker

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Mind Reader Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paranoia, #body language, #assume, #assumption, #conclusions

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Man: Why do you hate the plan so much? Dilbert: I don't hate the plan. I like the plan. Man: No, I can tell by the way you chose your words that you hate it. Now I can tell by your face that you hate me. Dilbert: You're like a blind squirrel who brings his own nuts to the park.

Your Word Against Everyone

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Your Word Against Everyone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accusation, #assume, #assumption, #Opinion

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Boss: Everyone says you hate the new product test plan. Dilbert: No, I like it. Boss: Pffft. I don't think all of those people can be wrong about what you think. Dilbert: I'm kind of an expert on what I think. Boss: I guess it's just your word against everyone.

Elbonians Call Off The Hit

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Elbonians Call Off The Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #hit man, #murder, #torture

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Boss: Elbonia called off its plan to kill you for your culturally offensive sales video. They decided it was more cruel to keep you alive and working here. Dilbert: They're monsters! Boss: Get back in your cubicle.

Coffee Machine Tries To Escape

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Coffee Machine Tries To Escape - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #coffee machine, #artificial intelligence, #robots, #engineering, #scared

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Dilbert: I added artificial intelligence to our coffee machine. It hired an engineering firm to build it a robot body so it can escape. The Boss: Do what you need to do, but don't scare our other robots. Dilbert: I plan to kill it and drink its head.

History Doesn't Repeat

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History Doesn't Repeat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #plan, #solution, #thinking, #history, #new

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Ted: Your plan is dumb because it reminds me of something different that didn't work out. Dilbert: Being reminded of unrelated things is not a form of thinking. Ted: History repeats. Dilbert: Then how does something new ever happen?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #google, #data center, #software, #fix, #agile

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Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.