Whole Life Umbrella Rider Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

477 Results for Whole Life Umbrella Rider

View 461 - 470 results for whole life umbrella rider comic strips. Discover the best "Whole Life Umbrella Rider" comics from Dilbert.com.

Finding Qualified Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Finding Qualified Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #questions, #job market, #engineers, #baker, #mortuary, #assistant

View Transcript

Transcript

interview boss: it's hard to find qualified engineers in this job market, so i'm casting a wider net. it says here you have experience as a mortuary assistant and baker. that's not exactly like being an engineer, but i want to stay open-minded. tell me about a time you had to deal with failure and what you did about it. interviewee: well, one time i totally botched an embalming. so i used a chainsaw to reduce the corpse to flushable parts. i told the family he came back to life and ran away. boss: okay. and why did you become a baker? interviewee: so i cold eat my mistakes.

Bet My Life On It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bet My Life On It  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relationship, #office, #business, #argue, #agree, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: are you sure? boss: i'd bet my life on it. dogbert: i'd bet your life on it, too. dogbert: i'd win either way. dogbert: i can't tell if we're agreeing.

Show Interest In Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appointment, #business, #doctor, #employees, #hate, #interest, #leave, #life, #managers & supervisors, #prank, #question

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coronavirus, #business, #technology, #network, #upgrade, #server, #boss, #latency, #locks, #garage, #sleep, #face mask, #work from home

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

Ceo Does Math

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Does Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #diseases, #earth, #humans, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Why is everyone so panicked about coronavirus when maybe only 1% who get it will die? Catbert: One percent of the population of Earth would be...77 million dead. CEO: Yes, but the whole world won't get it. Catbert: They will if they listen to you.

One Source Of Stress

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Source Of Stress - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #work at home, #human, #contact, #stress, #co-workers, #bored, #print, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: i've had no human contact for months. i wasn't expecting to enjoy it so much. my love life was already a barren wasteland. and avoiding my co-workers is always good. i haven't been stressed, tired, or bored in weeks. i only have one remaining source of stress in my life. dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert dogbert: i'm printing money in the basement. dilbert: there it is.

Bead Of Sweat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bead Of Sweat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #idea, #nervous, #office workers, #sickness, #virus, #paranoia, #pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.

Dogbert Teaches Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dogbert Teaches Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #safety, #training, #simple, #corporate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's corporate safety training. Don't touch anything, don't move around, and don't talk to anyone, ever! Thanks for coming. Dilbert: That's the whole class? Dogbert: Don't blame me for being good at summarizing.

Lack Of Social Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #technology, #social, #contact, #best, #week, #covid, #cope

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.