Wally Comic Strips - Page 47

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View 461 - 470 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber

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Asok Has Tasted The Sweet Freedom Of Uber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags experience, guest artist, introspection, john glynn, wisdom

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Asok: Now that I have tasted the sweet freedom of being an Uber driver, how can I go back to this life? Wally: Try looking deep within yourself, Asok. Asok: You are even wiser than usual. Wally: You'll need a flashlight and yoga lessons.

Asok Needs Money And Social Life

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Asok Needs Money And Social Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ride share, rideshare, uber, driver, taxi, job, business

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Asok: I have no social life and I need extra money. What should I do? Wally: You're one Prius away from being an Uber driver. Narrator: Continued.

Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitting, babysitter, inexperience, children, parents, cell phone, communication, Family, technology

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Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?

The Root Cause Of Bad Posture

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The Root Cause Of Bad Posture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags posture, health, work ethic, laziness, back pain

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Dilbert: How do you keep your posture so straight? Wally: It's easy. You have to understand the root cause of your poor posture before you can eliminate it. Dilbert: Bad ergonomics? Wally: Work.

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robots, artificial intelligence, emotions, humanity, feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Asok Returns From Fbi

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Asok Returns From Fbi - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags racism, arrest, terrorist, terrorism, protest, friendship, relationship, commitment, apathy, relationships

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Asok: The FBI held me for three weeks on suspicion that I was a terrorist. I assume you were protesting outside the FBI building the entire time and they didn't tell me. Because racism? Dilbert: Oh, right. Yes. We were protesting the entire time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse, paradox, logic

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Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.

Retirement Plan

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Retirement Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags retirement, future, planning, plan, death, aging, work, savings, dying, medical

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Dilbert: I saw an article that says most people don't have any kind of retirement plan. Wally: I plan to live an unhealthy lifestyle and pass away in my cubicle, preferably on a Monday. Dilbert: That's a terrible plan. Wally: Better than average, according to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sexism, sexist, misogyny, conversation, talking

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Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.

Unexpected Things Happen

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Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, schedule, excuse

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CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.