Avoid Work Comic Strips - Page 47

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Avoid Work

View 461 - 470 results for avoid work comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Acts Like An Animal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Acts Like An Animal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags off the grid, bored, boredom, distraction, Entertainment, animals, nature, stimulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert Goes Off The Grid. Dilbert: The boredom is giving me the shakes. Animals are never bored. I'll just do what animals do. Well, possum doesn't work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Not That Invested In Your Success

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not That Invested In Your Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, communication, excuse, excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I made no progress on your project because I was waiting to ask you some questions. Coworker: You could have emailed me. Or texted me. Or stopped by my desk. Wally: I"m not that invested in your success.

Don't Want To Set A Precedent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Want To Set A Precedent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags overwork, work ethic, exhaustion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you mind if I only work sixty hours this week? I need some rest. Boss: I don't want to set a precedent that your health matters. That's a slippery slope. Dilbert: I might die from sleep deprivation. Boss: Don't ask me to validate your selfishness.

Who Can Insult The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Can Insult The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, payoff, reward

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I heard we can insult our boss now? Dilbert: You can't. Alice and I can get away with it because we are hard to replace. Wally: Realistically, there had to be a downside to being useless.

Only Masochist Would Live Here

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Only Masochist Would Live Here - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, jobs, talent, masochist, masochism, expectations, work ethic, work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Here's my list of the ten qualities I want in all new employees. Catbert: A person with all of these qualities would also need to be a masochist to work here. CEO: Write that in.

Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Disposes Of Excess Robot Inventory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags destruction, anger, therapy, catharsis, robot, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to get rid of that 3-D printed robot that looks and acts like me. Dilbert: No problem. Alice takes care of all the excess robot inventory. Alice: I don't always have passion for my work, but today is looking good.

In The Long Run We Are All Dead

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
In The Long Run We Are All Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.

Rewarding Wally's Failures

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Rewarding Wally's Failures - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, excuse, laziness, justification, reasoning, excuses

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should be celebrating my failures instead of punishing me for them. Failure is the raw material of success. If I am not failing, it means I am not pushing myself hard enough. Boss: Fine. What have you failed at? Wally: I failed to work on my project this month.

If You Double Your Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
If You Double Your Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags productivity, work ethic, reward, wages, double-standard, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If I double my productivity, will you double my pay? Boss: No, but it might increase my bonus. So go ahead. Dilbert: Let's forget I brought it up. Boss: You just earned a "lazy" on your next review.