New Product Comic Strips - Page 47
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1000 Results for New Product
View 461 - 470 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 01,
2010
Tags meeting, project, coordinate, give up, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again in a year."
Wednesday June 30,
2010
Tags benchmark tests, crumple paper, throw, problems, solve, product
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our product placed last in our own benchmark tests." The Boss says, "I wish all of my problems were this easy to solve."
Sunday June 27,
2010
Tags computer help, trap, yell, freak out, hair stand up, rant, hug, kill, head in hands
Transcript
Tina says, "I need help with my computer." Dilbert says, "It's a trap!" Dilbert says, "If I touch your computer, you'll think that every future problem is caused by something I did." Dilbert says, "You'll tell everyone I ruined your computer!" Dilbert says, "I'll be obligated to solve every computer problem you have from this day on." Dilbert says, "My own projects will be left to wither as I show you for the ninethieth time how to select a new font." Dilbert says, "If I refuse to help, you'll tell my boss I'm not a team play." Tina says, "Do you need a hug?" Dilbert says, "Only if you can squeeze hard enough to kill me."
Saturday June 26,
2010
Tags failure estimate, hallucinate, assumption, make up, understanding
Transcript
The Boss says, "Can you get me some failure estimates for our next gen product?" Dilbert says, "I can if you like numbers that are based on hallucinated assumptions." The Boss says, "I kind of do." Dilbert says, "I think we have an understanding."
Thursday June 10,
2010
Tags meeting, employee satisfaction, chart, point, fire, smart people, stupid, celebrate, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Employee satisfaction has doubled since last year!" The Boss says, "The credit goes to our new program of firing smart people." Alice says, "You're safe." Coworker says, "Yeff!!!"
Wednesday June 02,
2010
Tags meeting, presentation, slide show, names, trademarked, hand motion, crotch area, wide eyes, shocked, gross, point, war criminals, nicknames, partnerless loving, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."
Friday May 28,
2010
Tags tired, exhausted, research, lie, avoid work, lab report, meeting, write down, science, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So? the new rule is that we write down stuff?"
Tuesday May 18,
2010
Tags raise, face front, budget, better than nothing, annoyed, yell, mouth open, close eyes, shake fist, angry
Transcript
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Monday May 17,
2010
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, upgrade computer, vampire, evil smile, panic, caveman, complain, costumes
Transcript
Mordac the Preventer of Information Services Mordac says, "It's time for your operating system upgrade." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!" Dilbert says, "Please don't! My CMS software won't work with the new operating system. I'll be a technology have-not!" The Boss says, "It's never good when they wear costumes to complain." Dilbert says, "Ooga"
Sunday April 11,
2010
Tags beta test, meeting, face front, impractical maintenance requirement, lube, bear's ear, warrant, product, legal, shake fist, justice, sick, hand to mouth, shake, throw up, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "The beta test went well. Thank you, Dilbert." The Boss says, "Now I'll have Tina add an impractical maintenance requirement to the manual and we're ready to go." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "It's standard procedure." The Boss says, "Say the user needs to lube the product ten time a day with the wax from a bear's ear." The Boss says, "And say the warranty is voided if the device isn't properly maintained." Dilbert says, "Is that legal?" The Boss says, "It's better than legal." The Boss says, "We're using the law to keep justice away!!" Dilbert says, "I feel sick." The Boss says, "That's how you know it's working."

