Tone Down Comic Strips - Page 47

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View 461 - 470 results for tone down comic strips. Discover the best "Tone Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #ethel, #credit, #banks, #interest rate, #filming, #television, #ads, #Dogbert, #attitude

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Dilbert stands in front of a customer service desk at a bank. Dilbert says, "I'd like to apply for a 'Bank of Ethel' credit card." The woman behind the desk says, "Sit down and shut up." The woman says, "It's 21% interest plus surprisingly high annual fees. We'll do a credit check and a full body cavity search." Back at home, Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert wearing just his boxers. Dilbert says, ". . . And I had to smile the whole time because they were filming it for their television ads." Dogbert says, "You have to admire their attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #company, #dehumanize, #employees, #identification, #badges, #symbolizes, #cafeteria, #alfalfa

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The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "I'm proud to announce that the company has found yet another way to dehumanize the employees." The Boss continues, "From now on you will wear identification badges at work. This symbolizes that people who look like you are often criminals." The Boss adds, "Oh . . . And the cafeteria is closed. We'll just lay down some alfalfa in the break room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mother nature, #nature, #natural, #cruel, #beautiful, #robin, #singing, #smiling

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Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. He sees an old woman holding a stick and says, "Mother Nature!" Mother Nature says, "Hi, Dogbert, you little lard bag." Dogbert says, "Geez, Mother Nature, why are you so mean?" Mother Nature replies, "I'm not mean; it's natural. Nature seems cruel but it's really beautiful." Mother Nature continues, "For example, do you see that robin that's singing?" Dogbert says, "Yes?" Mother Nature zaps the bird with her stick. As feathers float down from the tree, Mother Nature says, "He was off-key. Now nature is back in harmony." Dogbert says, "Ha! You're smiling! I knew it. You enjoy being mean!" Dogbert walks down the sidewalk looking disheveled. Clouds of smoke rise from his fur. Dogbert says, "Yet another example where keen perception doesn't pay off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lenin, #twenty, #bucks, #king, #commies, #available, #stores, #dollars, #wall, #communism

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Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sad, #story, #renowned, #monkey, #trainer, #beautiful, #discovered, #kidnapped, #wife, #leader, #sing, #song, #laughing, #thanks

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Dogbert sits at his desk under a sign that says, "I will listen to your sad story $5.00." A man enters and says, "I have a sad story." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man continues, "I was a world renowned monkey trainer." The man continues, "I had it all: fame, money, beautiful family." The man continues, "Then I discovered that the monkeys were plotting against me." The man continues, "They embezzled all of my money and kidnapped my wife." The man covers his eyes and says, "Then my wife fell in love with their leader, Bing-Bong." Dogbert laughs. The man asks, "Were you laughing?" Dogbert hands money to the man and says, "Here's my five bucks. Thanks."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tax, #perparation, #help, #math, #classes, #inadequacies, #taxes, #deviation, #cosine, #depreciation, #polynormail, #owe, #preparer, #confusion

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Dogbert sits at a desk under a sign that says, "Tax Preparation $5.00." A man enters the office and says, "I need some help . . ." Dogbert says, "Sit down." The man says, "I always fooled around during math classes. Now I can't do my own taxes." Dogbert looks at the form and says, "We can prattle about your inadequacies later." Dogbert says as he fills out the form, "I'll do your taxes and talk at the same time so you really feel dumb." Dogbert continues, "Hmm . . . Simply multiply the standard deviation of the cosine of your depreciation and integrate the resulting polynomial . . . There." Dogbert continues, "According to this, you owe your tax preparer an additional two thousand dollars." A pile of money sits on Dogbert's desk. Dogbert says to the reader, "Confusion - it works for the IRS and it can work for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #plastic, #surgery, #decision, #nobody, #toucan sam, #cafeteria, #intern, #janet, #lips, #puffed, #tethered, #snorted

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A woman with a huge nose tells Dilbert and Wally, "I've decided to have plastic surgery." Dilbert replies, "Frankly, I think it's the right decision." Dilbert continues, "Maybe then nobody will call you 'Toucan Sam' behind your back in the cafeteria every day." Wally says, "Ooh, and remember when the summer intern left?" Wally continues, "The joke was 'Maybe Janet accidentally snorted him up her nose.'" Janet says, "Actually, I'm only going to have my lips puffed." Wally whispers, "I hope the nurses are tethered down." Dilbert arrives at home with his arm in a sling and a bandage on his head. He tells Dogbert, "I got off easy . . . Poor Norman got snorted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #flush, #goldie, #john, #ugly, #stupid, #fish, #life, #rivalry, #suicide note, #schools, #pun

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Dilbert stands in front of an empty fishbowl with his arms on his hips. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You expect me to believe that Goldie flushed HIMSELF down the john??!" Dogbert replies, "Surely you don't believe that I ended his ugly, stupid fish life in a fit of pet rivalry . . ." Dilbert looks at a small piece of paper and says, "Explain how a fish can write a suicide note." Dogbert says, "I've heard they have schools . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Entertainment, #thanks, #babysit, #doggie bert, #bret, #impressionable, #years, #innocent, #adult, #nonsense, #parents, #space, #aliens, #eat, #slaughter, #house, #kindergarten, #change, #probably

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A man and woman say to Dogbert, "Thanks for agreeing to baby-sit, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "No sweat." A baby says, "Doggie-Bert!" Dogbert says, "Sit down, Bret." Dogbert and the infant sit on the floor. Dogbert says, "You're in your most innocent and impressionable years." Dogbert continues, "As an adult, it is my duty to fill your sponge-like brain with incredible nonsense for my own entertainment." Dogbert continues, "Your parents are really space aliens." The baby looks frightened. Dogbert continues, "They're just fattening you up so they can eat you!" Dogbert continues, "The slaughterhouse is a place they call kindergarten!!" The father hands Dogbert his money and says, "Thanks, Dogbert. Did you change him?" Dogbert replies, "Probably."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #sitting, #Dilbert, #north, #equator, #water, #swirls, #clockwise, #drain, #south, #counter clockwise, #juan, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "When you're north of the equator, water swirls clockwise down the drain . . ." Dilbert continues, "South of the equator, it swirls counter-clockwise." Dogbert asks, "What's it do right on the equator?" On the equator, a woman stands in front of a sink and says, "Juan! It's just sitting there again!"