Wrong Place Comic Strips - Page 47
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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. An announcer says, ". . . A revolutionary fitness discovery!" The announcer continues, "Melt pounds away with the 'Alpine Ski Machine.'" The announcer concludes, "No exercise required." Dilbert leaves the chair. Dilbert holds the telephone to his ear as the announcer says, "Dial 1-800 . . ." Dilbert accepts a package delivery. Dilbert stands in a pair of skis. He thinks, "I can't imagine how this melts away the pounds." Dilbert bends over and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't reach the release." Dilbert reaches for the refrigerator but the skis lock his feet in place.
Dilbert asks the cleaning man, "And your name is . . . ?" The man replies, "Call me Mr. Tidy." Dilbert says, "The agency says you're experienced." The man replies, "Yeah, I've cleaned out some of the nicer homes in this area." The man continues, "The best thing here is to load your possessions into my van and I'll clean 'em at my place." Dilbert asks, "Will that cost me extra?"
Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.
Dogbert: Don't worry, killer, I'll get us out of this pound by nightfall. Poodle: How? Dogbert: I used my one phone call to call a wrecking company to destroy this place. Poodle: That sound dangerous to me. Coming up: A near-death experience or possibly just a stupid dream sequence.
Dawn the Dinosaur asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's wrong, Bob?" Bob replies, "I can't deny my feelings anymore." Dawn leans out the window and says, "Not the roof again!" Bob climbs up the gutter on the side of the house and says, "I have to tell people." Bob stands on the roof and yells, "I can't tell the difference between Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings!!!"
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."
The caption says, "Dogbert performs a scientific test of so-called 'women's intuition.'" Dogbert and a woman sit at a table. Dogbert says, "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten." The woman says, "5.1362894 . . . No, I'll say three." Dogbert says, "Wrong! The answer is 5.1362894 . . . I'm beginning to wonder if you're really a woman."
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "Let me get this straight . . . You say that BAD grammar can become GOOD grammar over time?" Dilbert replies, "Yes. If a bunch of intellectuals start using a word wrong, then it becomes proper in common usage." Dogbert says, "Grammar would be a lot less confusing if we had smarter intellectuals."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"
Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings and Dilbert says, "Dogbert, see who's at the door." A man tells Dogbert, "Hi. I'm from the 'Big Ball Wrecking Company.' I have a work order to destroy this house." Dogbert reads the order and syas, "Looks like you have the wrong address. This is Walnut AVENUE. Walnut STREET is clear across town." The man says, "Oh phlegm! I don't have time to drive way over there." The man asks, "Would it be a bother if I just leveled this house instead?" Dogbert replies, "That would be a tad inconvenient. Try the Johnsons, next door." Dilbert asks, "What was that loud noise?" Dogbert replies, "Apparently the Johnsons aren't home."