Amazing Thing Comic Strips - Page 47

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509 Results for Amazing Thing

View 461 - 470 results for amazing thing comic strips. Discover the best "Amazing Thing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

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Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

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Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #failure, #blame, #executives, #scapegoat

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Dilbert: Our sales for the quarter were zero. CEO: Heads will roll! Whose fault is this. Dilbert: It's entirely your fault. You told a reporter that our next version will be amazing. So all of our customers are waiting for the new version. The only sensible solution here is for you to admit your mistake and resign in utter humiliation. CEO: Or... I could blame this guy, whatever his name is. Man: That isn't right. CEO: Looks like I'll be adding insubordination to the charges.

Erik Listens To The Meeting

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Erik Listens To The Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cia, #spying, #listening, #surveillance

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Narrator: Erik used to work for the CIA. Dilbert: You missed the meeting. Erik: I listened to the whole thing. Dilbert: I didn't know the speakerphone was on. Erik: Let's change the subject now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

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Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed

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Wally's Project Is Not Confirmed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #memory, #obliviousness, #managers, #executives, #hubris

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Boss: Wally says he has a secret project he can't tell me about. Did you give him that project? CEO: I don't remember every little thing I've ever done. Boss: My best strategy here is to think about other things.

Wally Pretends To Work

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Wally Pretends To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be at my desk pretending to work. Alice: How long do you think you can get away with that? Wally: I wondered the same thing for the first fifteen years or so.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

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Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.

Fix It With Marketing

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Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

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Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.

Ceo Uses Dating App

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 Ceo Uses Dating App  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #dating, #app, #technology, #tinder, #match, #cheating, #adultery, #eskimo brothers, #relationships

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CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? Wally: Your wife/?? That's my girlfriend!

Boss Ends Neural Interface

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Boss Ends Neural Interface  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #mind control, #technology, #invention, #amnesia, #forgetting, #memory loss

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Dilbert: We removed the neural interface to your brain. Do you remember anything we made you do? Boss: No, not a thing. Dilbert: That's probably for the best. Boss: Did I break any laws? Alice: Not according to the cop you dated for three days.